Cruel - Criminal minds enemies to lovers

Nightmares

"P-please! Stop!" Athena cried through strained vocal muscles, his hands grasping her throat up the wall.

Blood dripped from his eyes as he squeezed her neck like a dog with a chew toy, a rage clear across his face, a guttural hatred stronger than any she had ever seen before.

"Where is she?!" His coarse voice stabbed into her like daggers, his grip growing uncontrollably, her legs dangling as she clawed for her life at his hands- but it was no use.

He was bigger than her, stronger than her, angrier than her. 

But most of all, he wasn't scared- he wasn't scared like her.

She was going to die.

He was going to kill her.

Derek Morgan was going to kill her.

...

"Athena, you coming kid?" Rossi's voice barely brushed Athena's ear, nothing seemed to these days.

She just stared as she always did, zoned out with a fixed false focus at the body on the side of the road. 

"Athena?" His hand shook her until she followed him with a disinterested nod that told him she could hear him, she could choose to listen to him, but she wasn't- she couldn't.

Despite everything that happened with Athena's mother and Kyle, the FBI still wouldn't let them drop their cases and work solely on tracking her mother down.

That meant that not only did Athena spend her days searching for cold blooded killers, she also spent her nights searching for the cold blooded killer she called mother.

Sleep had avoided her for two weeks following Kyle's murder.

She couldn't say his name, she couldn't even think of him- and yet he was all she could think about.

That scream stopped her from eating.

That beg for help as she heard his blood splatter distanced her from the group.

She was there, physically with them more than ever, but never in the same room as them, never in her own body.

Something had changed, she had changed.

Her features were sharper, scarier than before, her once put together outfits were replaced by dull nothingness.

Her once voluminous, bouncy, bright hair had become dismissed to the back of her head with a clip, even her bold lip was replaced by under eye circles that swallowed her whole.

It wasn't just the exhaustion appearing in physical forms, the cuts on her arms from her nightmares increased, the bruises she got from fighting unsubs heeled slower, she looked simultaneously more terrifying and strong whilst looking so weak and small. 

Headaches remained a permanent part of her life, there was no relief from the many tablets so she didn't bother any more.

Her body was numb to it, or maybe it was a punishment to herself.

That throbbing skull that threatened to break out at the slightest of sounds was a reminder, a shake from reality of what she had done, of what she had caused, of what she was being punished for. 

"Hey- are you listening?" Rossi interrupted her thoughts as they drove, she didn't respond, she didn't care enough to.

"Okay, that's enough."

The car came to a halt on the side of the highway, not that she paid much notice. 

"Kid, you have to do something- you can't keep going on like this" Rossi's hand placed on her shoulder, letting out a desperate grunt of frustration as he turned her to face him, "give us anything- any emotion other than the expressionless face you've had the last two weeks! Yell at me! Hit me! Do anything!"