Selfish

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Athena sat at the back of the jet staring out of the window as she waited.

She sat and just thought. It had been 24 hours since she first woke up and knew something was wrong, 24 hours since she knew the team were missing, 24 hours she had given Rhiannon Richards to do it her way.

Now, 24 hours later, it was Athena's turn. She had sat through her interrogation to make sure she wasn't a part of the teams disappearance, the FBI still weren't convinced she had nothing to do with it even after the hours of lie detector tests given how well Athena could lie through them and pass before, but they had to let her go legally.

Rhiannon warned her, "leave it to us, we will find them but we can't have you on this case given how close you are to them and the fact you still might be a suspect."

But Athena had warned her first.

Find them by the end of the day or I will be forced to use my way.

The end of the day had come and gone and now it was her time, she wasn't waiting around anymore. She wasn't sitting idly by as the FBI let her friends- her family- go missing.

She had let her friend go missing before, lost her for years and then watched her get shot in the head all because she tried to do it the lawful way, the 'right way' but no more. She didn't care how many times the voice of Morgan in her head called her selfish for doing it her way, how many times Hotch's voice called her stupid for what she was doing, how many times Rossi's eye rolls at her plans came into her head- she wasn't going to let them disappear without a trace, she wouldn't lose them, she wouldn't lose Morgan..

Selfishly, that's all she could think about.

Him.

She couldn't lose him, she couldn't let him leave her alone, she couldn't let the last think she did to him be pushing him away. She tried to push down the thoughts bubbling to her throat, the thoughts of him being gone, of her never getting to apologise and tell him how desperately she loved him, how desperately she wanted to be enough for him, the thoughts of her never finding him or worse- the thoughts of finding him dead. She didn't know what she would do if that happened but it wouldn't be good, there was no way she could be the same if her was gone- if he was dead.

She didn't realise how much she loved him until now. She knew she loved him of course, she knew she had stupidly fallen head over heels for him and was desperately in love with the kindest, most genuine man she had ever met but she hadn't realised how utterly heartbreakingly in love with him she was until he wasn't beside her to argue or bicker with, to hold, to love.

Her mind raced to a thought she thought she would never have. If she found him- no, when she found him, she would do it. She would risk it all for him, she would tear down every wall, she would do something she had vowed she would never do again, something that he made her realise she wanted with him for months but she had hidden at the back of her mind, something that terrified her and terrified her more that she wanted it.

"Athena?" A rough voice interrupted her thoughts as 3 figures entered the plane.

"Hey Carlos" she smiled, wiping her face from the tears that had slipped out during her thoughts and standing up to greet him.

"Thanks for coming so fast guys" she said to the 3 men. Carlos and Sebastian smiled at her with a concerned 'of course' face.

She had called them the day before and told them to get to America as fast as possible, that she would explain when they arrive but the team were missing and she needed their help. The thought of the Penelope being missing was enough for Sebastian to drop everything at his new job as head of interpole tech. He hadn't talked to her properly since the case in France but he thought about her always and couldn't deal with the thought of her being in danger. Athena's terrified voice was enough alone to get Carlos to come, he knew that if someone as strong as her could sound so scared then something was wrong.

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