𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 | louis partridge

nine

they all sat silently for a moment before cylia jumped down off the top of the slide, grinning. she walked straight up to louis, basically ignored me. ouch, but to be fair i was doing that to them earlier.

she stopped right in front of him, smiling up at him. with a shock, i realized she was basically the same age as his little sister, maybe a year apart.

cylia suddenly seemed so young. she never felt young, she sometimes felt as if she were florence's age.

crazy.

cylia stuck her hand out to louis, a smile still on her face. "hi. i'm cylia."

a smirk spread across louis' face, his head tilting slightly downwards and to the left as he grasped her hand firmly, shaking it. "and i'm louis. you knew that already, though, didn't you?"

cylia nodded rapidly, drawing her hand back, somewhat hesitantly. "yeah, of course!" she said eagerly.

louis chuckled quietly, glancing over at me as i stood by his side, watching him. his smirk grew a little bit, he looked devious. he was up to something, i knew it. "so.." louis said, looking up at the rest of my friends. "when one of you said i was hot... did y/n agree?"

oh fuck.

lilia was sitting on a twisted thing of pole you could slide down, and from there she called out, "yeah, technically she did! she said 'oh fine he is pretty cute'."

louis turned his head to look at me, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "oh did she now?"

i felt the need to defend myself. i wasn't up to being laughed at. "it's not like i knew who you were!"

he furrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused. "if you had known i was me you wouldn't have thought i was attractive?"

oh no. that's not what i meant at all. he had a hurt look on his face, making my heart pound. "what? no! that's not what i meant- i meant..." i realized there wasn't a good way i could have cleared that up. "i didn't mean to say that. i just meant that, yes, you're cute."

louis raised his previously furrowed brows, the hurt look slowly leaving his face. thank god, if i hurt him i couldn't forgive myself. it was only his first night back here, i didn't need to ruin our friendship.

"okay.." he said slowly, looking back up at the rest of my friends. oh. maybe i did hurt him.

i gazed up at the rest of my friends, feeling an uneasiness well up in my stomach. how do i apologize? just say sorry? that feels too boring, but if i go too far it seems fake too.

i took a deep breath in. i'll just go with whatever comes to mind. hopefully, that doesn't screw me over. "okay, guys." i said rather loudly, making sure they could all hear me. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being a total asshole to you guys because louis came back. truth is, i just wanted to spend time with louis. he vanished out of thin air and now he's back, and it just felt unreal. it felt as if i had to ignore everyone else and spend as much time as possible with him because i was scared he would leave again. i still am. i'm so so sorry."

i hadn't lied. i was terrified louis would just leave again. i couldn't deal with that again.

ralph and leo stayed silent, looking at each other. i would have expected ralph to tell me he accepted my apology first. he always sucked up to me.

sometimes, i felt as if i was using him. i used to have him do stuff to me because he would just do anything i asked. it was terrible, i know, but it was just so easy to make ralph do things.

i wasn't surprised about leo. he was dating florence, and he almost always sided with her. this was one of those instances.

evan kept his head down as he sat on the highest level of the play set, his legs sticking out from in between a horizontal pole and the landing.

evan typically followed everyone else's lead. sometimes he acted out on his own, but half the time he was a sheep.

florence was sitting on the first step to climb the set, she was silent. i felt like my apology wasn't getting through to anyone.

cylia was still staring at louis, and i figured that made him uncomfortable. i tried to catch her gaze to get her to stop, but she wouldn't look over at me.

lilia finally spoke. "okay. i get it. i went through something similar before i moved here. my best friend moved, and i felt like i would never see them again, and i haven't. if they showed up here, i would totally ignore the rest of my friends. i'll admit it, it sounds awful, but i would. i would be scared that they would leave."

i let out a breath i hadn't realized i was holding. "thank you." i whispered, but only louis and cylia seemed to hear.

louis lifted his hand up, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. i swore my heart skipped a beat. i had no clue why, it was literally just a friendly gesture. chill out y/n.

florence nodded reluctantly. "i guess i can understand. just don't pull that shit again."

leo nodded in agreement, ralph and evan soon following. thank god they had forgiven me. if they hadn't i don't know what i really would have done.

cried, of course.

louis hand fell off my shoulder, brushing lightly, like a feather, against my arm as it fell back to his side. i got goosebumps, causing me to shiver.

what is wrong with me?

i sat down, feeling the wood chips poke me. it was nostalgic, in the weirdest way possible. i could remember sitting down on the playground alone, pushing away the wood chips to expose the dirt. i drew with a single wood chip in the dirt, unpacking the dirt that had been previously packed down by countless shoes.

louis plopped down next to me before yelling out. "ow!" he reached his hand under him, brushing some wood chips aside. "one of them stabbed me in the ass."

i laughed, earning a dirty look from louis. "sorry! sorry." i was still laughing quietly, so he reached over and shoved me over playfully.

my elbow and forearm hit the ground, saving my face from the fall. i sat back up, louis and everyone else laughing. i reached out and pushed his cheek, his head turning with the force.

"hey!" he protested, putting his hands up. "okay, okay! i'm done!"

in the moonlight, his smile looked real. he looked real. i knew he was real, of course, but i was just hit with how real the moment was. having louis back was real. he was actually here.

and he looks so good. while louis was gone he got so attractive, and i don't know how i'm supposed to just want to be his friend. it's only his first day back and i feel like i'm already catching feelings for him.

i stood up, brushing the back of my jeans off, trying to brush away my thoughts about louis with the debris.

stop thinking like that about louis. it's the best for the both of you.

this is going too fast but like- idk