Dear Evan Hansen One- shots

The In-Betweens (TreeBros)

It didn't even make any sense. Connor had always wondered what the point of it all was, anyways. Go through the stupid hamster wheel, same as everyone, and get stuck in a shitty job that you'd rather vomit than show up to on any given day. He honestly couldn't care less what tragedy struck. That was until he met Evan.

Evan brought a smile to Connor's face. That smile- Connor thought- was the reason for everything. You have to get through all the shitty moments so that you can make it to the ones that make your heart glow.

They met at a Starbucks. Stupid, he knew, but the good parts of life were always filled with stupid little ironies and cliches. Bumping into someone and getting a scalding hot coffee spilled all over your brand new sweater might ruin most people's day, but that one bump was what made Connor's whole life.

Evan had spluttered out an apology, hastily grabbing handfuls of scrunched up napkins, fruitlessly trying to somehow undo the damage done. But it wasn't damage, and neither of them would undo it for the world.

Looking forward to the times he got to see him - counting down the days - made Connor's life worth living in the in-between of happiness. You didn't always have to be happy to be a happy person. Life wasn't happy, but love was.

He dreamed of the way Evan would reach out his smooth, pale hand to tuck a greasy strand of Connor's hair behind his ear. He longed for the way Evan would let Connor push his homework off the bed to make room for himself, so he could hold him.

And then there was the day Connor waited years for. Once Evan had agreed to his proposal, it was these in-betweens and small affections keeping him going until the happiest day of his life. Hearing the "I do" from Evan was Connor's fuel. It stayed that way for years.

Evan made that day the best day of his life. But Evan made a late September Thursday the worst.

They'd had a good run. They really had. College sweethearts. Together for thirty-five years.

But Evan had fallen ill. The doctors had no clue what it was, had 'never seen anything like it before'. Connor knew it was coming, but this time the in-betweens were all he had, because once they were over, so was Evan.

Days spent at Evan's bedside. Thousands of tears dropped onto the cold white hospital bed and the shitty white sheets that were never warm enough to do Evan any good. Movies were watched, hands were held, and horrible hospital food was eaten, but it was all Connor had left.

It was the worst thing he had ever seen. To see Evan go from the most beautiful boy in his life, stars in his eyes, to a frail and withered and pale husk of the man he once was.

Connor knew then, that whoever said "good men get what they deserve" was a liar. Evan didn't deserve this, and neither did Connor.

When he lost Evan he realized again, that life really didn't make any sense. It was useless. It wasn't happy. It was a long and tragic story with a few happy spots sprinkled into the middle.

But small affections, the in-betweens, were what had made life worth living.

A/N: sorry my loves, it's been so long since i've updated. i've been going through a really long rough patch that had left me rather uninspired for quite a while. Life has definitely been a rollercoaster, sorry for the angst, my gf of a year just broke up with me and i'm not taking it too well. please leave any prompts/requests here to help me get back into the hang of writing.

also holy crap, my book is number one in kleinsen!
thank you for reading!! stay safe, my loves <3