Hanahaki Strings • seventeen jihancheol

Chapter 39: Birthday

Seungcheol

Stop. Stop. Stop. Go away!

I groaned in pain.

When I sprinted away from Jeonghan earlier, I went to the nearest men's comfort room. For a few minutes, I stayed there, groaning in pain because of this indescribable sting in my heart. When someone entered and knocked on the cubicle where I was, I sprinted away once again, not wanting to let the other students see me in a vulnerable state.

I clutched my chest tighter as I leaned against the wall of my bathroom. I gritted my teeth to suppress the pain I've been wanting to let out, but I didn't want to worry my friends who I know will surely hear it from outside.

Please, whatever the fuck is this, go away!

I have no idea why the fuck I'm suffering like this all of a sudden! I have no heart problems, I'm certain of that. But why the hell is my heart aching this much?

The pain felt so oddly familiar, yet I can't pinpoint it. The feeling of something pricking in my heart, as if it's piercing deep into it, and the way my heart seems to clench so tight...

My throat felt so annoyingly dry, yet I can't do anything about it. There seemed to be a lump in my throat, wanting me to vomit it out.

I let out a muffled groan when a stinging pain struck me all of a sudden. It made me knelt on the floor, one hand supporting me and one hand clutching my chest.

A tear trickled down in my eyes as I suppressed the pain.

Please, go away...

As if my wish had been heard, the stinging pain in my heart had stopped. I gasped for air, leaning my back on the wall once again as I sat up to catch my breath.

For a few more minutes, I remained leaning on the wall as I slowly recovered from the pain. Ruffling my hair in frustration, I stood up and went to the sink to wash my face, to remove some remnants of tears. I don't want to answer any questions if they noticed I cried. Heck, I don't even want them to know I cried, let alone see me crying!

I stared at my face in the mirror after washing my face.

What's happening with my heart?

I can't understand it at all.

Is it because of what Jihoon had said earlier?

"Because you like Joshua hyung."

I had long accepted and decided that I'll just ignore the growing feelings I have for Joshua, that I'll just bury it deep inside of me. Because I didn't want to ruin our relationship at all.

But when Jihoon said aloud the thing I've been ignoring, that's where my heart became so unsettled and troubled.

Now I can't just fucking ignore it.

And I'm wondering, if my feelings for Joshua are the reason why I'm feeling this pain?

But why would it hurt like this?

I messed up my hair once again. It's so frustrating that I can't answer all my questions because I don't have an idea about this at all! And I'm worried this would keep on going.