Can't Help but Love Him

Quieter than I Remember

     I went upstairs to my old room, opening the windows to air it out. It was fairly late, and my stomach was beginning to growl. I wouldn't have any food until morning, so sleeping was the best way not to think about it. 

     I had to think about a way for transportation, too. Using an Uber to get anywhere would get exhausting, especially since it would be a new person every time. I was glad I had remembered my wallet, I'd be doomed without money.

     I had my own bank account that I used, but my mom and dad also had their money they had left for me. That account wouldn't open until I turned eighteen, so I'd have to get by on my own. There was a town a few miles from here, so I'd go shopping there in the morning. 

     Sleeping was the most important thing right now, so I settled down into the double bed that had once been mine. It felt cold, despite the many blankets that I wrapped myself in. It was a different heat I wanted, and it came from a body that was thousands of miles away. I dreamed of his warm arms around me as I slipped into unconsciousness. 

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     My room was on the west side of the house, so the sun didn't wake me up like it usually did. The first thing I did was check my phone charging next to the bed. It was later than I thought, and sleeping in wasn't really my style. 

     I groggily walked downstairs, returning to the list I had made yesterday. Food was definitely the priority, my stomach growled loudly in agreement. I called an Uber, working on the list until it arrived.

     When it came, I had decided on the best way for transportation, and had it take me to a bike shop. I hadn't ridden a bike since I was ten or so, but they say once you learn you never forget. Purchasing one was a good idea, It was easy to use and came with a basket. 

     Despite the neighborhood being so familiar, it was all so different. The town had a gloomy aura, and everything seemed really quiet. I decided food and bottled water came first, so I visited the local grocery. I knew the owner really well, she and my mom had gotten along. 

     The door jingled as I opened it, and I was pleased to find grocery store looked just how I remembered it. Small, cramped, and decorated with unnecessary trinkets. 

     "Hello? Mrs. Drascal?" I called, peeking behind the front desk. There was a loud sound of clattering in the back, followed by a yelp of pain.

     "Mom! Stop, it hurts-" Screeched a younger voice. It wasn't Mrs. Drascals, but it did sound familiar.

     "Hold still, Penelope. What'd you do to make it bite you in the first place?" Someone else said, then another crash. 

     The door to the back was slightly open, and I could only see rows of boxes stacked on top of one another. It then flew open, and a short and sturdy woman walked out towards me.

     "Oh, goodness. We have a costumer, Penelope! Get that ferret to stop biting you and put it in the cage!" She ordered, coming to sit at the front desk. She looked at me for a moment, before a wide smile spreads across her face. 

     "Jason, is that you? Oh how you've grown into such a handsome man! How's your mother? I know you just moved back recently, but she hasn't stopped by the shop yet!" She exclaims, grabbing my my shoulders to get a better look of me.

     Had she not been told? I couldn't believe it. One of my mom's best friends didn't even know she was dead. How wouldn't I tell her? I could just come out and say it, but that seemed a bit insensitive.

     I stared at her with empty eyes, sympathetic for her lack of knowledge. "She's... they're both gone." I say, surprised by my own bluntness.

     I watched carefully as realization creeped onto her face. "Gone? Lily and Marshal, gone? Tell me you're lying." She murmured, reaching out to grab my shoulders. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone else emerge from the back room with a concerned look on her face. Mrs. Drascal begins to shake me, tears streaming down her face.

     "Tell me you're lying!" She said again, looking me in the eyes. 

     "Mom, stop. You're overwhelming him." Said a younger girl. She looked a lot like Mrs. Drascal, but her hair was lighter and her features were more defined. I identified the small girl as her daughter; Magdalene, I had seen her a few times when visiting the shop as a child.

     Mrs. Drascal was crying uncontrollably into her hands, letting Magdalene rub her back. I was suddenly very awkward standing there, watching my mothers friend cry about her death. So, I walked away. 

     I'd let her deal with her emotions while in the meantime, I went shopping in the rest of the store. I recalled the food items on my list, finding them and putting them in a shopping basket. I made sure to take my time, I didn't know how long Mrs. Drascal would sit there crying. I was a little surprised by how selfish I was acting, but recent events had brought me to my limit. All I wanted was to peacefully shop for my groceries.

     When I peeked at the front desk from behind an aisle, I only saw Magdalene sitting there hunched over her phone. Determining it was all clear, I quickly made my way over to the front.

     "Um, can I check out?" I asked her, setting my basket full of food on the counter. She looks at the basket, shuffling the contents around.

     "Sure. You got card or cash?" She asked me, not looking up from her phone.

     "Card, please." I said, taking it out of my pocket. It took a while for her to sweep through all my products, and come up with an estimate for the total price. Once I had paid, I left without turning back. 

     I started to regret the encounter as I biked home, wondering if I should've at least said goodbye. There was this strange laziness rising inside of me, and it told me it was simply too much of a hassle. 

     I wanted to get home soon, too. My stomach was practically having a concert with how much it rumbled, and I couldn't wait until I got home to eat. I'd have hours of waiting until it was morning where Axel was, so all I could do was sit around anxiously until he called.