Can't Help but Love Him

Reflect and Regret

      We went inside once it got darker, the plan was to sleep here for the last night before we went out to our new house. Aurora was surprisingly on edge, and didn't seem as prepared as she usually was for spending the night. My phone suddenly rang on the counter, and she flinched at the sound. 

     I looked at Charlie's name at the top of the screen, and warily looked back at her. "Is this what you've spent the night being worried about?" I asked.

     "Put it on speaker." She said, coming to stand next to me.  

     "Jay, I'm gonna need you to come to the address I send you. Also, how do you feel about stripers? 'Cause I convinced Maddy, she said it was okay because it was your bachelor-" He's suddenly interrupted by a loud thumping sound. 

     "Hello, Jason. Charlie may be mentality ill, but he was right about the address you need to come to. You think you can make it?" Owen asks politely. There's some commotion in the back, and I hear lots of whispers. 

     "Now h-hold on," I fearfully looked down next to me at her stone-cold expression. 

     "Um, Aurora? I think they may be having a party-" She interrupts me, grabbing the phone from my hand.

     "You're crossing the line, Owen." She hissed, taking it off speaker. I knew Aurora was friends with Maddy, Charlie's girlfriend, but she talked to the so casually.

     "No! He's eighteen, not twenty one! And have him home way earlier than that... my party starts at eight so we should be done at around one... Fine, but absolutely no stripers." She walked away, angrily talking into the phone.

     I really was confused, but by the sound of it, it seemed there were two parties happening simultaneously for me and Aurora. Nobody ever thought to explain things to me.

     "Ok, Jason! You're going to your bachelor party, and I'm going to mine." She says, determined. 

     She grabbed her coat and my keys, pulling me outside with her and sitting me in the passenger seat. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" I ask her once she's come around to her seat.

     "No, not at all. But I have to go, or Olivia will drag me there herself." She sighs. If I recalled, Olivia was Owen's girlfriend. Is that why she seemed so close to Owen?  

     "Ok, but then what about after that? I won't see you for most of tomorrow, until you're literally walking down the aisle to marry me." I remind her, watching her pull out from the driveway. 

     "Then that's when I'll see you next." She says. I was astounded by her calm and quick thinking, enough so that I went along with it. 

     I spent the night at Charlie's house, mostly avoiding the endless amount of drinks offered to me. It was fun though, messing around with my friends the night before I said goodbye to my childhood. The music was loud, I was positive it would give me a headache in the morning.

     Only a few times did Axel's face pop into my mind, and every time I quickly erased his image from mind. It was rough, but almost everywhere I went he was all I could think about. It made me mad that he constantly consumed my mind, especially since I had decided I was going to love Aurora.

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     The next morning, I woke up to the sound of a bottle crashing. 

     "D-Dammit, Gorge! I'm trying... I'm tryna sleep!" Charlie mumbled, rolling on top of Gorge. 

     "It wasn't me! Must've been Jason trying to escape." Gorge groaned, shoving Charlie off of him. 

     "I was unconscious until you both made all the ruckus, thank you very much." I muttered, sitting up. Charlie's foot was right next to the bottle that had fallen, so I assumed it was him. I didn't remember much of last night, but I saw the mess we'd made in Charlie's room.

     "ShHH everyone quiet... before you wake up... him!" Charlie said, pointing to the fully awake Owen already folding his sheets.

     "Jason, you aren't hungover are you? I hope not, you're getting married in a few hours." He sighs, coming over and offering me a hand.

     "O-Oh, no I didn't drink. Thanks though." I say, letting him help me up. Charlie and Gorge were now wrestling on the floor, and Owen went over to scold them. 

     I peeked over at the clock on the wall, it read nine am. Our spot in the woods were already set up, and a practice-run was scheduled for ten. I yawned intensely, getting up to head for the door. 

     "Okay, bye guys. I gotta go practice." I say. They all wave me goodbye and wish me luck, watching me skip out to my car. 

     I was usually pretty punctual, so Aurora trusted me to get there with plenty of time to spare. Now that I thought about it, that house was always there for me. It raised me, gave me an amazing childhood. Then, it sheltered me for a month or so after spring break.

     Everything really had turned upside down in one year. My parents, Axel, Aurora and my friends. If I looked back on my life now, I'd say it was a good one. Only one, one painful regret would stand in my way. 

     Right now, I drove across the city so I could marry the girl I loved. But what about the boy I loved? Was it such a bad thing, the way I felt for him? But what if it was involuntary?

     Regardless of what I regretted, only one future stood in front of me now. And I was going to choose to carry it out.