Can't Help but Love Him

Mistakes

     "Wait, what? Who?" I was only getting more confused, and the sympathetic look on his face wasn't helping. 

     "Mr. Johnson, her husband I mean. I don't have enough pieces to confirm it, but I just thought I'd let you know what I knew so far..."  

     There was a low-pitched buzzing in my ear that prevented me from hearing the rest of his sentence. I felt as if a string had been pulled loose in my brain, unraveling everything else along with it. 

     "Mr... Axel Johnson?" My heart skipped a beat saying his name, but I couldn't otherwise be sure we were talking about the same person.

     "I'm pretty sure, but like I said-"

     "Um, can you excuse me? Just... just for a second..." My ears buzzed even louder. I couldn't see two feet in front of me. I needed to sit down, or maybe something cold on my head. No, no what I really needed was for him to say he was lying. I'd gladly take anything other than what he told me. 

     "M-Mr. Wilson? Are you okay." He sounded really worried. 

     Suddenly, sounds of screeching and crashing echo from inside his house. We both turn, looking through the glass doors inside to see people running around covering their heads. 

     "Will you be fine here for a second, Mr. Wilson? Let me just check what's going on in there."

     I didn't remember much of when Axel and I were together, but I remembered the promise I had made to him. I had promised to stay with him, I said I'd never leave. 

     "Papa! What happened? Papa!" Ellie was crouched down in front of me, shaking my shoulders. I looked around in a sort of daze, realizing I must've fallen on the floor.

     "O-Oh sorry. I'm fine, just tripped." I said, sitting up. "More importantly, what's going on in there?" 

     There were waves of screams and terrified whimpers coming from inside. "Well... um... me and Mommy went upstairs, but Eddie kind of escaped. I found him, though! he's stuck to the ceiling light." She smiles. 

     That explained why people where ducking for cover, but it was one single frog. You'd think they would've handled it better.

     I stood up, trying to ignore the pounding in my head. If this is what happened when we left our house, then staying home was definitely the right call.

     "Where is Mommy? Is she still in there?" I asked, peering through the doors. Ellie mimicked me, looking around inside. 

     "I dunno. But If Mommy and Eddie never come back, then there's only you and me. We'll have no choice but to go get pancakes." She decides, sitting down and drawing her plan out on her palm. 

     "Wait, how did you know I was here?" I asked. If she had been upstairs, I don't know how she would've managed getting down to the deck without Aurora.

     "U-Um, well I sort of came down on my own, and found you end of story! I didn't hear anything! I didn't hear anything!" She yelled, covering her ears and running back inside. 

     I reflexively chased after her; if she really had heard something then the first thing she would do is tell Aurora. I don't know how much she'd heard, but I hadn't said anything directly about our relationship. Worst scenario was that Ellie confessed what she'd heard, saying that one of my 'friends' had died. 

     I suddenly stop running after her, realizing what I had just thought. He could be dead, the one man I loved about could be dead, and I was still finding ways to cover up the fact that I had ever been with him. It made me feel sick.

     "Jason!" Aurora comes running towards me, with the frog squished between her hands. "Did you know she brought Eddie?"

     "Stop, Mommy you're killing him!" Ellie panics, prying open her hands.

      I could barely hear them over the own noise in my head. The house was nearly empty, the frog had cleared everyone out. 

     "Anyway, we should get out of here. I'll talk to you when we get home." She scolds, glaring down at Ellie.

     I stop for a minute, analyzing their faces. Had I been doing this all wrong? Here my wife and child stood before me, but I felt like I was in the wrong place. I had lived with them for a little over a decade, but they felt like strangers. 

     The only thing I could think about was how warm his body was, and how much I missed him.

     I took out my phone without thinking, calling an Uber to the house. They didn't notice anything wrong for a while, until we were outside.

     "Jason, why are you crying? Look, there's a tear down your cheek I see it." She said, coming over to me.

     "The man before said his friend died. Poor Papa." Ellie says, rubbing the frog in her hands.

     "What man? What friend?" She asks. The Uber pulls up in the driveway as we speak, rolling it's window down.

     "Can you drive Ellie home? I want so do something quick." I felt bad about not giving them an explanation, but what could I say? I didn't even know if he was dead or not. James himself had said it was a hunch.

     "Huh? When will you be back? How much dinner should I make?" Aurora worries behind me. 

     "I'm sorry, I'll probably be back soon, so plan for three." I mutter. 

     I didn't actually know when I would be back, the urge to see him felt so strong that I'd do anything. I hoped with all of my heart that he was alive, on this planet breathing. I hadn't had hope in years. I'd avoided it with all my power. Because deep down, I knew I really wanted to be with him again.