Appreciation

Wonder

After the waterfall visit, Deidara has weirdly been clingy to me. I wake up in the morning to find him in my room, sitting down on the floor and making little clay sculptures. We would go and have breakfast together before going about our day, sometimes i would hear Sasori yell at him and he comes into my room, a pout on his face as he becomes petty. Sometimes i would go to get supplies and he would follow me, he would ask me all sorts of questions, even on bad days of his, he would still search for me.

Was i mean to you?

How did our missions go?

After i detonated myself, what did you do?

Did we do anything in particular?

Are you annoyed with me? Oh no? Thank god

Despite all that, one thing was clear; nothing i have done was successful to trigger his memory. Its like starting over again, reintroducing myself and showing him what i did in the past. To be fair, i could just tell him. But it wouldn't be authentic, he wouldn't believe me and knowing him, he would even go as far as to deny some of the things i claim. Then again, that's just how Deidara is as a person.

Sometimes when we are alone together he would ask to see my face, which i can't deny, is pretty cute. Though things haven't been getting better with his memory, weirdly enough our relationship as partners have worked out nonetheless. He hasn't gotten closer to my face or, to say the least, no we have not yet kissed. Somehow he just likes seeing my face, but it would only be a few minutes before i would have to put my mask back on. But he never misses a chance to see my face, creating situations where i am alone with him very often.

"The white Zetsu armies are ready, now we just need-" I got cut off by explaining the war details to Kabuto as Deidara called out for me. "Tobi....tobi..." his voice rang through the halls, the tune of his voice soft and almost melodic.

"You and him have been unexpectedly close.." Kabuto commented as he leans back onto his chair, crossing his arms. "As expected from the romantic duo of Akatsuki..." Kabuto smiled, the snake on his neck slithered as it moved around his body. "It's not like that..." I said as the door slowly opened, creating a loud door creek.

"Tob- oh..you're busy.." Deidara said as the door slowly opened, his head peaked in as he looked at me and Kabuto. "I'll be right out, it's about your clay materials right?" I asked nervously, trying to seem as if Deidara and me haven't just been hanging out for nothing. "Y-yeah...it's okay i'll see you in your room..." Deidara said quickly, as he closed the door. As his footsteps faded away i looked at Kabuto, who had a smirk on his face.

"Do whatever you want Madara...or Tobi...whatever you call yourself..." Kabuto said as he took out another roll of the war plans and rolled it onto the table, showing me the new preparations. "Just don't be too loud.." he said under his breath, teasingly. I felt my face turn red as i denied his words. It's not that i don't want to, I really want to but if Deidara isn't comfortable with it then i'd rather not.

"Can we just continue the discussion?" I asked, slightly annoyed. Kabuto let out a small laugh and gestured me to continue, as he leaned back onto his seat.
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"Here you go, your favorite..." I said as i laid down a plate of Bakudan for him. Itachi and Nagato eyed us, before continuing to eat. Deidara smiled at me as he digs into his food, looking completely happy. "You baby him too much.." Sasori said sitting down, his eyes turned to take a glance at Deidara. Deidara stuck his tongue out at Sasori teasingly, angering the red-haired boy.

"Deidara..." Sasori said as he stood up, ready to smack him. "Now now..." Kakuzu said entering the room, he stood in between Deidara and Sasori. "We've spent enough on the table, i don't need you two idiots ruining any furniture..." Kakuzu said as he towered over the two individuals. I chuckled as I watched those two, the funny thing is Deidara and Sasori never really hurt each other, all they do is bicker and act as if they are going to hit each other, but they never do. It has happened once or twice but then again, these two are like siblings.

"Your relationship with Deidara..." Itachi said, suddenly speaking up. "It was a little...odd..." he said looking at the both of us. I shook my head and looked at Itachi. "Itachi, what are you saying?" I asked as i watched Deidara continue to eat, stuffing his mouth with the delicacy. "Odd is the wrong choice of word Itachi, i would say it was suspicious..."

"Deidara once mentioned something about a beautiful man, i figured...this adds up..."

I watched as Deidara looked at Itachi, his food still in his mouth. He slowly swallowed up his food and looked at me, then looked back at Itachi. "I said that? no i didn't" Deidara shook his head, getting all defensive. "Tobi back me up.." Deidara turned to me, his expression desperately asking me to support his statement. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly closed it as i saw Itachi let out a laugh.

"Deidara, he wasn't there...there was only you and i, you were standing in front of the bathroom mirror talking to yourself" Itachi said simply as he took another bite of his food, quietly chewing it as he observed Deidara stare into the air, looking disbelieved. I watched as Deidara turned to me, his expression desperately asking me to tell him more. His stare, which was burning through me, didn't only ask more questions than he already did, but its as if he's screaming the questions to me right now.

What were we?

Were we romantically involved?

Was it platonic?

What happened.

I watched as Deidara lowers his gaze and continued eating, his face now filled with curiosity. "Just so you know, whatever it was, I was happy for you..." Nagato said, smiling as he tilted his head, although very weak he still manages to lighten up the mood with his cold but kind attitude.

"We all should be..." Kakuzu said all of a sudden, he turned and faced all of us before walking towards the hideout exit. "Love is difficult to find, so a lot of us indulge ourselves in other things..." Kakuzu continued.

"Don't you all agree?" Kakuzu turned and looked at all of us, I looked down and slightly nodded. Kakuzu isn't wrong. Due to lack of love, people change, like a child without parental love or a heartbreak that could never be mended. That's where you find something else to fill the void. Be it violence, money, sex, murders, passion or art. Anything to fill up the void that is obviously non-existent.

"I guess being that old does bury some wisdom into you..." Sasori said quietly, complimenting Kakuzu's state of mind. "I'm guessing yours would be money..." Nagato said, his tone curious but also confident, trying to confirm his answer.

Kakuzu looked back and let out a chuckle, before walking out. All of us sat in that little room, i crossed my arms and looked down. I could feel Deidara's eyes on me, his curiosity almost killing me to an extent.

I have to tell him.

I just have to.

He has to know.