Appreciation

Abandon

"Change him back" I yelled as Kabuto struggled against my grip, my voice echoed throughout the hideout. Kabuto glared at me and said, "He's a stupid reanimation, why are you so hooked on that blonde war weapon?". His tone dissing me with each sentence. This angered me. It all adds up to why Deidara was not being himself, it was because Kabuto has removed Deidara's emotions from his reanimated body.

"He's not a war-" Kabuto cut me off and looked disapprovingly at me. "Then? What is it you want with the poor boy?" He asked as he struggles to get away from my strong grip. I gripped his cloak tighter. "You're probably just going to whore him to fulfil your needs" Kabuto yelled, his gaze looked down on me.

That was the last straw, I used my left hand and punched Kabuto, causing him to hit the wall behind him. "Change him back..." I said, through my gritted teeth. Even though I'm wearing a mask, I'm sure anyone who is watching us right now would know that I am furious. The sound of my voice tore through the hideout hallways, I'm sure the other members heard it as well. Kabuto got up, his hand on his knee as he walked forward.

"Tobi, look at yourself..." Kabuto said as he let out a low laugh that gradually gets louder. His psychopathic tendencies showing. He banged the table with his hand as he threw his head back laughing. "You're mad...you're mad..." Kabuto said between his laughter.

"Is this what love does to those who achieve it?" He asked as he looked up at me, his smile undeniably evil. He pushed himself up and walked towards me, his smile glued onto his face. My fists balled up as prepared to throw him another punch, just then he stopped right in front of me."You're a slave, for love...don't you see it?" Kabuto said as he looked at me, his eyes looked very prideful.

"You agreed to welcome me just because of him, you started this war just for him, you do everything...for him," Kabuto said as he took a few steps back. He leaned against his table as he continued.

"I can't control how I feel..." I said, my voice low as I looked down, trying to contain my anger. "I am already focused on the war, I just want Deidara back..." I said as I looked up, Kabuto now smirked at me and let out a laugh. "Did you think I really would? Do that?" Kabuto asked as he leaned forward, pushing the scrolls on his table from earlier away from him, making more space for himself to sit.

"Go find him in your Genjutsu! The real Deidara is dead, he is fucking dead Tobi, right now he's here as a reanimation" Kabuto said, his words viciously cutting through me like knives. "He has no heartbeat, what do you want to love? He has no heart and his emotions are with me" Kabuto said as he raised a red tag that wrote "放棄する" which translate to abandon. "You used that tag on him?" I asked, my voice almost yelling with rage.

How dare he use such a dirty trick on Deidara? He has to pay for this.

Kabuto rolled his eyes and crumbled the red piece of paper, before throwing it into the air. I watched as the paper lit on fire and disappeared in the air. "Only I can remove it...so you better play nice, Tobi..." Kabuto said as he leaned back, his arms at his side. "Give me Sasuke Uchiha..." He demanded as I looked at him in horror. "No..." I said, harshly objecting to his offer.

"We made a deal...after the war" I reminded him, as I crossed my arms. I watched as Kabuto let out a small groan and sat down on his bed, looking very conflicted. "There is one thing I need to do, one thing, then you can change him back..." I said to Kabuto, almost begging. Kabuto looked at me and shook his head, tsking. I nodded and said "The morning of the war, I need his personality for the war...you'll have him," Kabuto said as he crossed his arms and cleared his throat, gesturing me to leave his room. "You better not play games..." I said under my breath as I walked out, my steps louder than usual as I stomped my feet angrily.

Fuck Kabuto.

Fuck him.

Just then I hear a slight creak behind me, I turned to see a pair of blue eyes looking back at me."Tobi?" Deidara said through the little space between his open door, his head peaking out. My heart softens as I saw his face, he yawned as he looked at me. His fingers held onto the door as he pulled it back even further, he stood there almost awkwardly.

"I'm sorry Deidara, did I wake you up?" I asked as I walked towards him, my hand holding the door, attempting to get closer to him. He shook his head no as stepped back a few steps before looking at me with his head slightly tilted. "What happened? It was so loud it caught me off guard while I was making sculptures..."

"Just a little misunderstanding..." I said trying to sound reassuring. We stood there for a minute as we both rested our eyes on each other. I missed this the most, looking into his blue calming eyes. He can calm me down just by looking at me, it would be a little egotistical for him to find out how much control he has over me. After a minute had passed, he nodded and waved at me, attempting to close the door as fast as he could.

"Wait wait.." I said as the door movement stopped, Deidara peaked through the door.

"Deidara, how do you feel about me?"

Deidara looked back at me, his eyes emotionless. "how i...feel...about you..." he said repeating my question quietly as he nods understandingly. Suddenly he stopped nodding and looked up at me. He let out a disappointing sigh as he shook his head no and said "I don't understand, what's..feel?" he asked as he pulled the door open even wider.

I put my hand out in front of him and watched as he looked at my hand. As expected, he reaches his hand out and gripped mine tightly. I smiled as I looked up at him, Deidara looked back, still confused. "You did that based on instinct..." I said as my smile grew wider. Deidara looked at me and tilted his head, refusing to acknowledge the truth that I had just spoken of. "It just...felt right," he said as his grip loosens, he pulls back his arm. I watched as Deidara looked at his hand before his eyes met mine once again.

"That's how it feels with you..." I said as Deidara continued to stare at me. "Everything...feels right...it feels natural" I said as I looked down, my face blushing madly. "Holding your hand, being with you... your chaotic but calm aura calms me Deidara...there's nothing that could ever replace this feeling..." I said as I feel my emotions pouring out, it feels as if a burden had just been taken off my shoulders. The weight of my emotions, I am no longer carrying. "I know you're emotionless and this probably isn't the ideal situation for me to reconfess...but I lo-"

"I..."

I looked up to see Deidara's eyes filled with tears, his expressionless face is now accompanied by a drop of a tear running down his cheek. "I just...don't know what you mean...I don't even know why I'm crying but something inside me feels sad..." he said as he gripped the back of his neck, his pale skin lightly glowing from behind his neck.

What is that behind his skin?

I watched as Deidara's expressionless face suddenly looks shocked as he looks back at me, his expression causing me to worry. "D-Deidara... what happened?" I asked as I approached him, I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer, looking behind his neck.

The red paper behind his neck, similar to the one Kabuto was holding is now glowing brightly as it slowly starts to tear. Is the Jutsu wearing off? Or is it going to destroy him? Either way, I don't deal with these kinds of Jutsu, the forbidden ones aren't those I am fond of. I have to take him to Kabuto.

"T-Tobi..." he groaned out in pain as he fell in my arms, his grip tightens as he looks at me, his eyes filled with agony. "Hold on.." I said as I attempted to carry him, however, Deidara struggled and gestured me to put him down. "No, no...this is usual for me..." Deidara said as his hand pushes me away, his weakened strength defeated against mine. "I'll be okay in a minute," Deidara said as he closes his eyes and he leans his back on me. His breath quickens for about 3 seconds before he finally slowed down, taking long deep breaths in the process of it.

I pushed his hair aside and observed the red tag behind his neck, my curiosity took over me as I observed the tag, it has stopped glowing and the lines of the paper's tear are now non-existent. What the hell is this thing? This must be the item used to suppress Deidara's emotions. I traced my fingers on the paper, trying to see if I can somehow tear it off him. That's when I realized, it's not just attached to him, it was embedded into his skin. Just, what is this? what did Kabuto do to him?

I have a gut feeling, this doesn't just abandon Deidara's feelings. But also his memories, of me and him.