Appreciation

Chase

Everything flashed before my eyes.

Memories of Obito and I, when we first met, when we went to the lake, our first date, all of our sexual encounters late at night, the day he stopped me to chase after my very own death, my last words before I self detonated myself. Flashes of memories came, one after another, I felt my heart beat faster, my palms got sweaty. Once again, I saw everything. Everything that was held back before. Everything we talked about, I heard it all over again, like a deep echo making its repetition in my head.

"My name is Obito.."

"I like you.."

"Nothing beats seeing you smile"

"I met you and then I realized I can love another"

"I love you, Deidara"

"Please stay alive, I need you"

In between the echos of his voice and the flashbacks, I hear a voice calling out my name.

The vision around me cleared as I realized that Sasori was the one who was calling my name. I looked up and watched as Sasori looked at me, his hand holding a piece of paper. "S-Sasori...what happened...what just happened?" I asked as I sat down, my whole body felt exhausted. Sasori didn't say anything, probably wanting to avoid more confusion between us. He just showed me a red tag that wrote 'abandon' in black bold Japanese letters. What is this? Why is it behind my neck?

"That Kabuto prick, he did this..." Sasori said as he stood up, he reached out his hand and pulled me up, putting my arm around him. I know that my weakened body might be a burden for Sasori, so I tried my best to move on my own, but due to that I almost fell and Sasori pulled me back up.

"Put your ego down and just let me help..." He said as he put my arm around him, slowly carrying me forward. As we walked, my mind goes back to Obito. I realized how painful it must've been for him; to lose someone you love, to gain them back only for them to not remember the past and to not return your feelings. I feel horrible although I know I am not to be blamed for it.

"It's not every...you find someone who loves you like that..." Sasori said out of nowhere, I turned to look at him, his expression says it all; he wants me to go after him. "I've never had that...to say the least" Sasori said, almost making fun of his tragic past, which I am sure he has come to terms with. "You want me to go after him?" I asked Sasori, feeling rather conflicted with his idea. "He is playing with tailed beasts...it might not end well, he doesn't need that stupid Genjutsu dream of his, you're right here..." Sasori said as he turned to me.

Just then his facial expression changed, the look of both panic and fear formed in his eyes.

"Deidara..."

"What is it? something on my face?" I asked as I reached my hand up to touch my face, I felt a small tear at the place that I touched, which was the skin on my right cheek. "Oh don't worry, we reanimations heal right?" I said as I slowly put down my hand. Sasori shook his head no as his expression remained the same, he kept his eyes on the tear before continuing on. "Deidara they are not healing...in fact, the cracks are glowing, " Sasori said as I started to panic.

What is going on?

"Wh-what..wait that can't be" I stuttered as I reached up to touch the crack again, this time fully acknowledging that something is indeed happening to my body and I need to resolve this as soon as possible. "Leave it be for now, but if it starts to get all over your body, then..."

Sasori looked at me seriously as he says his next words, his next words made my heart drop as I realized not only did I not know what to do with myself, but I also may not get the chance to see Obito again.

"You're dispersing, the reanimation is wearing off"
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"Where are you..." I muttered as I felt the cold hard wind against my skin. I'm using my clay bird to look for Obito, but it's difficult as wherever I turn, I could only see people fighting. It's not exactly easy to look for people if I'm this high up in the sky. Everyone looks like ants from this height.

After gaining a bit of strength, I decided to go find Obito on my own. We encountered a few enemies which Sasori said he could handle on his own, so I decided to go on and to find Obito first before its too late. In my head right now there are two possibilities that are like a ticking time bomb to both of us, my dispersion from the reanimation and Obito's high possibility of death. I don't know why but I feel like, this Genjutsu dream ideal, really isn't his.

I feel like, he is doing this, for someone else.

"So this is what war looks like..." I said as I watched the fellow shinobis fight with all their might, a few thousand white Zetsu had fallen. "They are losing lives, while Zetsu is just a regeneration of cells..." I chuckled to myself. It's a pity really, the reproduction of Zetsu that isn't flesh or blood is easy however they hold the mediocre strength of combat, so it is still a struggle for the other shinobis. Just then, before I realized it, an arrow went through my bird and almost stabbed me in the chest, only inches away from the sharp blade I looked down and eyed the shinobi who shot the arrow at me.

"What kind of fucking ninja uses arrows, he must be the lamest ninja of the century..." I said as I quietly dropped down a few bombs, causing chaos among some of the shinobis who are busy going face to face with the army of Zetsu. I watched as the ninja who shot me an arrow ran, his speed unmatched for the power of my bombing. I just continued on with my journey, absolutely unbothered about the ninja.

Seriously though, arrows? You're a shinobi, use your own Jutsu.

Just then before I could continue, I heard a loud roar west of the battlefield. The roar wasn't your usual tailed beast roar, but this was louder than any of the Akatsuki members had ever heard, especially during the extraction of the tailed beast process. What is this? This isn't just another tailed beast, could it be?

Just then I looked down to notice that my hand had cracks all over, but unlike how human bodies work, I don't bleed, just light peeking through. So this is the dispersion of the reanimation.

"You'll be gone soon Deidara..."

A voice in my head said as I perked up, I looked around to find the source of the sound but I noticed that I was alone. The voice came from my conscious. "Who are you?" I called out, hoping for the voice to respond.

"Kabuto here Deidara.."

This four eyes, he's communicating through my head? How is he doing this?

"Only I, the Jutsu user can talk to you, since you are after all my dear little reanimation..." He said, his tone egotistical and mocking. "What do you want..." I asked, my teeth gritted. He is the reason I couldn't remember anything, he is the reason Obito had to go through so much pain just to see me again and to be let down. "You removed my emotions and memories, why the fuck would you do that?" I said, my voice almost yelling as I gripped my clay bird, my anger taking over me.

"Ah, I see you figured it out..." he chuckled and let out a small sigh. "Your feelings and memories will interfere with the war, taking away your memories aren't enough if you're just going to fall in love with Obito again, I don't need you two in my plan to dominate the world..." Kabuto said as I felt so angry, that my hands started heating up as well. This monster, he is a fucking monster.

"Oh yes, you are dispersing aren't you? I'll give it an hour before you are completely gone, you won't be able to find him now Deidara..." Kabuto said before I could say anything else, I felt like yelling at him, cursing him out. But the words just did not come out of my throat, It seems like I have swallowed it all up. I looked down at my fingertips, which are now dispersing as well. One hour, I don't know if I can make it. But I can't just sit around and expect Obito to do everything for me, maybe one last time, proper closure before I leave again.

This time, I'll properly say goodbye to him. If this is my last time with him, I would want it to be meaningful. Genjutsu or not, I hope he's happy. With every inch of my dispersing skin and my painfully tormented soul, I want him to be happy.

I won't leave you as I did before Obito, you don't deserve that. So please, please just wait for me, I will find you.

Before I knew it, I was flying towards the source of the loud sound, ready to find Obito.

I will find you, Obito.