Jujutsu Kaisen Oneshots + Headcanons

JJK + would they punch you for a million dollars?

Word Count: 679

!Trigger warning! Mentions of a little suicide. It's not really serious or anything, and isn't meant as a joke either. Just a warning if that's triggering. Please don't read if it is. 

Itadori:
-He heard the word 'million dollars' and thought, ok dope
-Does a double take when his ears settle on the word 'punch'
-Baby axolotl really doesn't wanna punch
-"Will it hurt?"
-"....no."
-The only reason why you said no is because you kinda felt bad because of the face he was making
-He blinks a few times and continues to think
-"Nah. I could never hurt you."
-"But Yuuji it wouldn't have hurt."
-"I don't care."

Megumi:
-"Are you fucking stupid?"
-He's so mean yet so mad about it
-Doesn't even care about the sum of the money
-"Of course I wouldn't hit you."
-His response was so quick you had tears in your eyes
-He's kinda worried as to why you were thinking that way
-Glares at Itadori and Gojo for the rest of the week

Nobara:
-This girl loves money
-She loves shopping, she loves receiving it, giving it, etc
-"Would it hurt?"
-Still has the stomach to ask you that
-"No."
-"Ok then yea."
-You don't know how to feel.
-"I"ll even do it my squeaky toy instead."
-Because that's any better

Maki:
-"Well..."
-In pure honesty money doesn't drive this girl
-Sure there are some weapons she'd love to purchase, but all the good shit is owned by Gojo, and thus her, so she's not in the need for money
-"Does it have to hurt?"
-"No."
-"Oh then maybe."
-*Sobs*
-Any 'hit' from Maki will hurt

Inumaki:
-"Tuna?"
-Doesn't really care for money either
-Pretty content with his life
-I mean like he has a pretty good standing with his clan, albeit him being from a small one
-"Okaka"
-yayyyyy
-He wouldn't hit you <3

Okkotsu:
-"W-wah?!"
-So confused
-"No."
-"Not even if it didn't hurt?" cue your puppy eyes because you want that money
-Shakes his head like a puppy
-"But Yuuuuu~"
-He sorta just buries his face into your neck and muffles his voice
-"Please don't ask me again Y/N."

Gojo:
-"Fuck yeah."
-Please slap him
-"You don't even need the fucking money.
-"Who says I don't?"
-*Death glares the strongest shaman*
-"What? I've been staring at these new pair of glasses..."
-"You care more about your glasses than me?"
-...
-He was doing it to tease you honestly he could afford the same brand of glasses and be able to buy it 20+ times with change to spare

Getou:
-Laughs nervously because that's what he does
-"Did I do something?" heh heh...
-Knows it's a trap and genuinely thinks you're trying to make him fuck up on purpose
-"No? I don't really need it..."
-"So you'd do it if you were broke?"
-See. He fucked up
-"Um...no. I don't want to hurt you."
-Pouty you for the rest of the day which is cute for him so he just gives you attention

Nanami:
-"I'll be right back."
-You're confused to that being his response
-"Do you not have time for me?"
-"No I just need to punch Gojo for making you say something so inherently idiotic."
-o.O
-"Honey he didn't make me do anything."
-"You sure? Because it was a pretty dumb question."
-Deadpans each other
-"Just answer the question."
-"Of course not."
-Yayyy

Sukuna:
-Stares you down for a few minutes
-Does the most darndest thing ever
-Grabs both of your hands into his own and sorta holds it
-Which is fucking weird for this dude
-"Look brat..."
-You're so fuckign terrified
-Like what the fuck is wrong with him????
-"As much as I don't show it everyday your life to me is actually worth just a bit. That being said I'd like you to talk to me about your fears or thoughts before wanting to end your life. Before asking me to do it either."
-"Nani???"
-He tilts his head a bit, also confused
-"Should I be glad that you had the mind to tell me first or...?
-"Darling no 😭"
-"Then why'd you ask me to kill you?"
-This man knows he's so powerful that a single punch would just kill you
-At least you know the answer

Naoya:
-Lowkey offended
-"Do you think we're poor???" not poor-shaming anyone btw. Some of us can't afford Wattpad Premium T-T
-Friendly reminder his technique isn't about strength...just a reminder
-Scoffs at the peasant dollars
-"No. And I need you to keep your pretty face anyways."
-Oh so it's only because you want arm candy? 🙄
-He slept on the couch that night

*Guest Star: Mei Mei:-"Money? Then darling you know."-She's too fucking hot to argue with