Dumb Decisions (Resse AU)

Part 3

~Rob's perspective~

I ring the doorbell. Was it a good idea to come here? My instincts are telling me to just walk away. Leave the man inside to be by himself, let him cry, let him go through it alone. But something urges me to go in there. If he doesn't want to talk, I'll go home, take a nice bath, read a book or work on a speech. We'll see. But if he needs someone to talk to, I'll be there. I ring again. Why isn't he opening the door? The light is on, so he is there. Right as I want to look through the windows to see if I can find him the door opens. Bloodshot eyes meet mine. Oh, this was a bad idea.

"Sorry, I can come back later if-" the words escaped my lips without my consent. 

"No- please stay." his eyes are pleading, a tear almost escaping them.

"O- uhh- Okay.."

I follow him into his house. The living room is a mess. Bottles are scattered around the floor, tissues scrunched up into little balls in between them.

"How much have you been drinking?"

"I don't know. Like six..."

"six what."

"Sixteen bottles?"

"Jesus. Well, it's wine, so that's not too bad."

"I'm sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting anybody."

"No that's fine. It's-" his eyes met mine "-yeah, fine." I clear my throat. He looked down and I took in his appearance. He was wearing an oversized sweater on top of sweatpants. His feet were bare and his hair was a mess. He did not look like the well-groomed man that showed up at the parliament. A ray of sun hits the side of his face as he looks up again. Even when they're red and swollen his eyes are still beauti- No Rob, stop. He's drunk and he just got out of a divorce. 

"So- uhh- how are you... holding up?"
It's a stupid question, I have eyes. I look around the house.

"Oh well you know-"

Suddenly he breaks down. Tears come pouring out of his already swollen eyes.

"Oh, hey, hey!"

I pull him into a hug. He rests his face on my shoulder. I suddenly feel really hot. Am I really-
I grab him tighter.

"It's okay-"

"I'm sorry, I'm a mess. It's just that-"
he stops, choking on his words. My hand travels to his head, my fingers massaging the back of his head.

"It's okay, you don't have to explain yourself. I understand..."

I hear a soft whisper. If my head wasn't next to his, I wouldn't have heard it.

"I just don't know how to live without them."

My heart shatters as a tear escapes my eye. What do you even say at this moment? What do you say when a man lost his family? What do you say when you love- no stop it. Pull yourself together.

A little waterstain stays on Jesse's shoulder as I pull back. My hand drops back to Jesse's face.

"You'll figure it out okay? I know it's not easy. I know you can't see it right now, but you are a strong man. You are apart of a government for Christ's sake! It's okay if you feel down about it. It's okay if you don't know how to do it. I know that you will find a way. You always do. Okay?"

He sniffels and I wipe the last tear of his face with my thumb. I pull him closer once more. God he smells amazi- UGH STOP.

"I can see why you would become a.. a... poli- pol- p"

"Politician?"

"Yes polizizion."

How do you even get this drunk from wine?

"You can speak really well. I think. I don't know if I'll remember it, or remember it right now..."

I pull back and look into his eyes. He can't seem to focus.

"Okay, let's get you into bed."

He doesn't resist, so I lead him up the stairs having to catch him a couple of times as he stumbled. I tuck him in as I see him drifting away.

"Hey Rob?"

"Yes?"

He grabs my hand. I freeze in confusion. Why is he-?

"Thank... you."

His eyes close and his head falls back. His grip loosens.
I look at his sleeping face. I should really get going- but just one minute more.

My thumb rubs over his hand as I lean forward. A lost curl gets pushed back. My hand lingers a little too long, but his face nudges towards it. I shake my head and my hand leaves his.

When I'm back downstairs I pick up the empty wine bottles and throw away the used tissues. The kitchen is full off empty packaging and dirty dishes. I load up his dishwasher and throw away his trash. When everything is nice and clean again the sun has turned golden.

I walk up the stairs and take a peak inside. The rays give his skin an even more sunkissed tone. He has a soft smile making his face shine from within. I smile as I walk towards the curtains to close them.

"Rob.."

It was the softest of a whisper. I turn around, but he's fast asleep. I sneak out of his bedroom, only stopping in the door to whisper "goodnight". He turns in his sleep, looking content. As I bike home his face won't leave my mind. How nice would it be to wake up next to that face.