Dumb Decisions (Resse AU)

Part 13

This part is pure torture lol. Have fun xx.

~Rob's perspective~

I texted him. I called him. I even went to his house, but he wasn't at home. I didn't know where he could be, so I kind of drove around before going home. Maybe he would show up. Even if he would be drunk I'd rather have him here. I need to apologize for dropping it on him during work, and we could finally satisfy our craving. I call him again, but he doesn't pick up. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I wander around the house, waiting for him to give me a sign he's still alive and well. I feel sweaty and gross. Should I take a shower? But what if he texts and I don't answer? But what if he shows up and I look like this? If it's just a quick shower I can text back... 

The water is hot and gives me time to think. It's actually too hot...
"Ouch"
I'm still not used to my new shower. I moved to a studio in The Hague so I would be closer to work after Sjoerd left. I kind of wanted to go back to Brabant (part of the Netherlands) to be close to my family, but I also don't want to leave Jesse behind. I guess it wouldn't be much of a problem if it's over now... I shake of the thought and rinse out the conditioner. I check my phone while drying my hair, still no messages. I look around the bathroom, shit I forgot to grab clothes. I slip into my bedroom and while I'm putting on pants the doorbell rings. Oh shit. I grab the nearest thing I can find- his hoodie. It smells like him. 

~Jesse's perspective~

You're an idiot. He told me he didn't want to, he told me I pushed too much and what do I do? I go on?? The engine roars as I accelerate. His angry face is still hanging in front of me, his icy words are still cutting through my hard. Why do I keep pushing? 

I reach my destination: the tulip fields. They're only here for a month or two, and I usually go with Jolein. It's a romantic place, maybe I could go here with Rob some day, if he still wants me... I shake off both thoughts. It's time to think. The tulips look great this year, it will be great for the economy with all these tourists. I wonder if I could use this in a speech. 'Yesterday I went to the tulip fields, and I realized that we don't need animals to support our economy. We could follow plants, make our own food: cultured meat will soon beat meat made from animals, we should invest in the research...." yeah, that sounds good.
I walk into the white row, it reminds me of his shirt. I should get him flowers. Maybe it will turn into something more... NO. This is the problem. Why don't I buy him flowers because I hurt him and I want him to know that I lo... care for him? Love him? Care... love? Great this thought stranded too. 

I suddenly hear a familiar voice. I look around and see the owner of the voice I've been seeing for 11 years, and she isn't alone. I recognize the tall man standing next to her: Jonathan, one of her colleagues who she told me had been hitting on her. So I can't crush on my colleague but she can? Fucking hell. I crouch down to not be seen and thank myself for putting on my other jacket today.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yes the flowers look so nice!"

Hearing her voice is bittersweet. My old feelings, the feelings I've had since kindergarten, slowly trickle through me, but they're mixed with anger and guilt, especially when I hear the next words.

"Do you want to come over so I can make you some dinner?"

"I would love to, but I still have the kids..."

"When are you gonna pass them onto him?"

"I don't know if I'm ready to see him every week yet..."