~Jesse's perspective~
My arms are empty when I wake up. He's probably peeing or something. I look at the clock, 6.30. Why didn't he wake me up? I don't even bother to put on a shirt, my sweatpants will be enough. I rub my eyes and stretch before I stumble out of the room. He's standing in the kitchen, buttering some bread for a sandwich.
"Morning, don't you want me to make you something nice?"
I want to hug him from behind but when he turns around I take a step backwards out of fear, his eyes are no longer warm and friendly. It looks like something closed off, they're spewing fire in defense but I feel a chill running down my neck, he looks cold and distant.
"Shouldn't you make that for Jonathan?"
What the-
"Who?"
"You tell me, you were talking about him in your sleep."
"I don't know anyone named Jonathan-" but the memory comes back as I say his name. Jolein, betrayal. Why the fuck did I say his name out loud? What did I dream about?
"Oh yeah, than what is he doing in your dreams."
"I don't know, I swear I don't sleep with another guy."
"You said 'No, Jonathan... don't'. What do you think that means?"
"I don't-" should I tell him? Should I tell him I saw my ex wife with a colleague of hers? No, he'll take it the wrong way, he'll think I came back because of jealousy. But isn't that exactly what I did? Didn't I hear her voice tell someone I'm pushy and wanting to prove her wrong. Isn't that exactly what I did? But he didn't need to know that, it would only hurt his feelings, make him think that I don't love him. Fuck, what do I say.
"I don't know what I dreamed about! Maybe I dreamed about being- I don't know- a spy, or a wizard or I don't know! And he was a villain, or a-a-a friend and he shouldn't do something I don't know! I only know that you're the only one I'm with right now."
His eyes narrow.
"I don't believe you."
My throat becomes dry. I shouldn't have lied.
"What do you mean?"
"You're not telling me something. I'm giving you another shot, who is Jonathan?"
I've lost control of the situation, I feel like I'm slipping on ice, praying I'll finally get up. But maybe I have to fall down. No, there has to be another way. Shit. I should just tell the truth while I can. But what if it hurts him?
He apparently sees the panic in my eyes because he sighs and turns around.
"If you aren't going to tell me you can better leave. We can just pretend nothing happened, go back to being friends."
I hear his voice crack, just like hers did. Why do I hurt everyone around me?
"Okay fine. Yesterday I needed some time to think... about me, and you and us so I-"
YOU ARE READING
Dumb Decisions (Resse AU)
Teen FictionIt's been a year since the shipping of #resse. Jesse is going through a divorce with his wife. Rob has already gone through a separation in the past year. Jesse has gone to Rob for consolation, not realising he's been the one driving Rob and Sjoerd...
