Their kitten (Vee Poly Bxb)

14-Love?

"Then when we went back to the table with Ashton, we had a good time together. Liz was on my mind the whole time though," I say lightly with a smile appearing on my face. It really was an amazing date besides the confrontation.

See, I'm currently with Scarrlet, squealing and shining over the moon about my date with the twins. I'm staying over at her house for tonight since I haven't been able to just say with her for a while and I miss her so much.

"OH. MY. GOD!" Scar squeals, making me giggle, "YOUR MATES! TWO HOT GUYS! PROTECTIVE! POSSESSIVE!" She once again squeals, jumping up and down from her spot in front of me.

"Yes, I know!" I giggle, shaking my head at her. "It's everything I can ask for, I think I might be falling." Once that sentence comes out of my mouth, I bite my lip, my eyes widen, my hand slaps over my mouth and I plop face-first into one of her pillows.

Fuck, what if I am falling for them? Love hurts. It could kill you or worse! What if I do something wrong? What if I mess everything up with them? I don't want another person to get hurt because of me. I don't know if romantic love is something my mental health can handle. I don't want to lose them, I really don't. But what if they can't handle my mental health? Shit, I can't handle my mental health.

I whimper at the thought of losing them and squeeze my eyes closed, trying to not let the tears fall. Shit. Love hates me. Sibling love? My sister died because she wanted to protect me. I love my sister to death and would've done anything to help her live but I ran. She told me to run and instead of helping her... I ran. What if I'm just not meant to be loved by anyone? I'm capable of love but what if it's just destined for me to not be loved? That's probably why my parents didnt, why they hated my guts so much.

The next thing I know, I'm getting hit on the shoulder. I look up at Scar as she giggles, only stopping when she looks down at me, seeing my expression. "Hey, what's wrong? What are you thinking about bubs?" She soothingly asks me as I start to feel tears come down my cheeks. After a moment it starts to get harder for me to breathe as sob after sob racks through my body. Scar pulls me into her as she uses one of her hands to pet and scratch gently at my ears as she lightly blows on them, her other hand rubs my side, making me calm pretty quickly. "I'm happy your sister taught me this," she whispers in my ear with a slight giggle, trying to cheer me up.

"Me too," I whisper once I'm able to actually talk again. I say it in such a hushed voice that I'd be surprised if she heard it though I only lean further into her lap. "Thank you Scar."

"Of course, bub, do you want to talk about it?" She asks softly, knowing that it had to be a sensitive topic for it to set me off like that. I just shake my head and curl into a ball next to her as she gracefully slips down into a laying position. "Okay bub, I'm here when you want to tho," She says softly as she starts to drift off to sleep.

I just lay in her bed, staring into space.

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It has been an hour or so and I still can't sleep, Scar on the hand am sleeping like a baby. I miss Andrew and Ashton so much. I don't know if I can sleep without them by me anymore if I'm being honest.

'Oh no, I'm attached! Like super attached!'

'Stop overthinking Matthew! I know it can be hard but they only want to show up love. If anything does go wrong, I'll help you out but they only want to love us. It's okay to get attached, we're their mate, they couldn't hurt us even if they wanted to!' My Neko, Dusky, argues with me making me groan, I know he's right, just scary is all.

'I sure hope so!' I say back before carefully standing up from Scarlett's bed, being careful to not wake her. I give up on trying to sleep here so I grab a piece of paper and pencil out of Scar's bag and write out a note so she doesn't get startled that I'm not here when she wakes.