My chosen one (+18/ SMUT)

She

Draco's POV

"I love you, Draco Lucius Malfoy,"she says out of nowhere. I'm shocked. She loves me? I- I didn't expect that. All the girls used me, I mean yes they loved me, but they used me for sex. She's, she's different, she's the only girl who really makes me laugh and she cares about me.

I took a moment, I started to panic. What if I didn't love her? I mean the only love I've ever experienced was my mothers love but never did I love someone else. What if I couldn't love someone. Yes, I have this strange feeling of butterflies in my belly when she's around me but is that what love feels like?

I have to think, think about this situation. I have to go, she can't see me like this. What if I break her heart? No, Draco, go, go home you can't give her what she deserves. I take her hand and drag her outside. I put the towel on and she does too, I am scared. I turn around and run my hand through my hair. What should I do now? What is the best thing I can do? Leave her Malfoy, she'll get over it, you'll only break her even more if you stay. Vanishing from her life is the best for her. "I cannot do this right now," I say after standing in silence. I exit the pool area. I walk upstairs, and put on my suit from yesterday. Shit, I can't find my tie.

Fuck, where is it? I have to leave. I can't stay any longer. Fuck this I think, walking down the staircase and greet her mother goodbye and thank her for the good food. I walk to my manor. "Mother I'm back," I yell into the empty entrance hall. "Draco, where have you been?" mother asks calmly.

"You were with her, weren't you? With y/n?" she asks. "Yes, mother. but I don't want to talk about it-" but she cuts me off. "I was in love once too. Please, Draco, don't break her heart. She might not come back one day and you'll end up with someone coldblooded." I ignore her and walk upstairs.

Right after I enter my bedroom I slam the door shut. "Fuck!!" I take off my suit jacket and sit down on my armchair. I proceed to drink two full bottles of fire whiskey. It burns my throat but I like this feeling. I massage the bridge of my nose with my index and middle finger. My mothers words don't leave my head. "Don't break her heart..." Shit, FUCK!! I just did. I start to sob. Why? Why do I care about her so much? She's just a girl...

"Fuck!!" I shout standing up and throwing my glass through my room. It crashes on the opposite wall. I run my hands through my hair and kneel down. The wall, the whole room feels like it'll crash down on me. I couldn't breathe. I start to hyperventilate.

I had the chance to make her mine but why didn't I take it? I'm a coward. She's just different. She makes me feel different. I'm nervous around her. And now she hates me. I have to let her go. 'You only know you've been high when you're feeling low, you only know you hate the road when you're missing home, you only know that you love her when you let her go...' were my mum's words she told me once when I was a child and didn't understand anything about love. And the worst part is, that I have to let her go.

I have to, but I hate her being with other guys. If I try to get her back, will she accept me? No Malfoy you really have to let her go, she's just another girl to you. Bully her so she'll keep her distance, so it'll be easier for me to stay away from her. Be cold, indifferent and don't show any emotions towards her. She'll get over it. You can't love and that's a fact. Malfoys can't love.

As I stand up I realize that I completely have devastated my bedroom. How did I do that without knowing it? "Reparo," I murmur and everything adjusts itself and goes back to their original place. I look at the cleaned room and then at the clock. Shit, it's already 5 p.m. I put on a new suit, of course a black one and make my way to our library.

On my way I see my father in his study. I hate that man, he cheats on my mother constantly and she knows but won't leave him. She's too good hearted. And when he's drunk he sometimes even beats her up and when I want to stop him he beats me up instead. I hate him for that but it's alright, I mean better than beating my mother up.