Chapter Twenty-One

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I knew she was familiar when I opened the door for her. Right away, her eyes cruised around the little space I called home. It was already known that it was not visitor-friendly. There were tiny remnants of me, but they were never straightforward. It was as if to tell others to decode me. But of course, I didn't mean for it to be that way. I was too focused on something else, I might have forgotten to give time to myself.

My eyes stayed watching her, it was interested in knowing what she thought about. All that, while I buried my fingers on the damp towel I was holding, a bit more nervous than I should.

"Ms. Miller your um..." she coughed, snapping me from my thoughts. I saw that she was pointing at my upper body that was too revealed and I immediately closed the curtains of my silk robe.

I turned around hugging my body tightly with the thin fabric. My ears and cheeks feel hot, I want to crawl out of my skin. I'm a failure as a teacher! Someone fucking helps me I think I just showed something vulgar, on a student at that!

She tried to comfort me, telling "It's okay, It's-"

"It's so not fine," I precited. I glanced at my back and saw her tilting and scratching her head. She was a confusing person. Why have I been acting gawky around her ever since that day?

I needed to maintain my cool composure. "Make yourself at home," I said, then excused myself to go upstairs to change.

Lately, there have been a bunch of coincidental events in link with her, that happened around me. It was all suspicious and forceful, I was afraid of what'll happen next. I did not even remember her name, but I remembered her face and what she said, it was etched in my mind.

When I got in my room, I picked up the clothes laying on my bed. That was what I was supposed to change into when I got out of my bath. A grey tank top and short shorts. And I think it was too showy. I ran to my closet and shuffled it to find a loose long sleeve. Had a hard time deciding, but eventually settled for the cotton clothing I found in the closet. I didn't want to look too formal, I would rather go for comfort so it'll be easier to move around.

__

Ellie was her name... I forgot, but it would be harder to erase from my memory. She was just so nice. Not just because of her face, sure, she's pretty and tall, but I liked how she could be goofy at times. My heart was beating fast but it was the coffee to blame.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't let those impressions overshadow all the potential motives she could be hiding. Like why does she care so much- no, scratch that, why does she like to involve herself in my matter? She could've ignored it, but here we are...

"I can see you bake a lot of stuff here," she said.

I looked at my countertop and it was filled with baking ingredients I have yet to put away. "Oh, that? Yeah, I do bake stuff... It's a hobby," I nodded. The question lingered in my mind, it swirled and churned, begging to reach my mouth, and her ears.

"Let's cut to the chase," I finally said after long debates in my head. "Why are you so interested?"

She gave me a confused look, "interested in what?" she asked.

"...in me,"

No wavering, no more dawdling around.

It took her time to answer such a direct-to-point question. I was anticipating her. I eyed her back as she searched my eyes.

"I've been hearing you..." she said, without ever looking away, "crying every night... I can't go to sleep without wondering who it was across my room."

I don't know what to say. Expecting to hear something else, all I had been overthinking dissolved into thin air. I thought she just wanted to befriend me for a benefit. Or that what she said that afternoon was nothing but a fleeting concern.

What could a person say to someone so innocent? I had no idea where I'll begin.

Her phone rang in her pocket. It buzzed but she didn't pick it up. She kept on talking.

"For a week all I did was listen. I felt so helpless even though I didn't know you yet. Many times I thought of knocking on your door, and also a lot of times I tried to stay still inside my boundaries. And I-I can't keep doing that, not for so long because every one of those nights, I felt like I was the only one who can hear you..."

The time is up even before I open my mouth to speak. Her ringtone faded into silence and that was the time she reached in her pocket to take it out.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't force the thought out. Next thing I knew she was already heading out of the door leaving the words I want to say unsaid.

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