Chapter Thirty-Five

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It was dinner time at eight. We were having the same thin-crust pepperoni pizza we had when we first moved in. I wonder when the biscuits would come... But sadly we finished even before it did.

"Any updates on Miss Miller?" I asked shooting my shot. I tried not to ask too frequently, but I just couldn't help myself every time we finish our food.

My mom looked up and then turned to dad who just shrugged at her.

"You're awfully concern about Miss Miller, sweetheart..."

"Uh... Is that a bad thing? I just think it's strange since she doesn't look like the type to leave her house for that long."

Mom nodded acknowledging what I said. They didn't know that much about me and Karlene being close maybe that was why they found it suspicious.

"You shouldn't worry anymore, Ellie. We saw her this morning at a local store and she was doing quite well."

My heart lifted when I heard those words come out of my mom. The assurance that she was still here was all that I had been yearning to hear.

"H-how was she?" I asked, getting too excited and lifted both of my eyebrows.

"I think she was doing good, sweetheart."

"Did you see anything weird about her? I want to know."

"None that I remember, but she looks really well, a strong independent woman..." mom chuckled. "We don't see much of those these days..."

I nodded as a smile appeared on my face. I shut my mouth before I could even say something stupid that would expose me. My brother put away the dishes on the sink and it was my turn to wash them. I stood up with a smile on my face and kept in mind that she was alright all along.

Who even washes plates while smiling like an idiot? Not me, definitely not me, I swear :>

After dinner, I ran upstairs. For the first time in a while, I may be able to sleep more comfortably on my bed without overthinking. Now I know she's alright...

That's all that matters.

Everything's gonna be alright...

----

But...

Weeks, and came another. Why was I still looking? I asked myself, because it was like I was in a game of hide and seek, but the other player already went home without me knowing.

I didn't believe at first that she could do that... To leave without ever telling me.

It was hard to breathe when it dawned on me. I never thought I wouldn't see her for a long time, or if I would ever see her again.

My room was quieter but it wasn't the calm type of quiet. The yellow wallpaper did not do it justice and neither did the closed curtains that prevented the light from coming inside. All while I was in this shit hole, I just hoped that the person who lived across me was living a good life. Now that she was away, I always wondered how happy she'd become. Maybe too happy to the point that she'd forget to return.

I maybe exaggerating this... I couldn't stop thinking about her without shedding a tear. My squeal of pain, anger and frustrations joint into those droplets and muffled howls. Is this how you feel everyday? Little by little I understand her and her grief of losing someone, the agony and the nightmare that came with it, the struggle of keeping it all quiet so I wouldn't, and you wouldn't, come out as damaged and as broken like you and I truly were.

It pains me to think that I was one of her cause of misery, one of her triggers. I don't blame her for fleeing away, I would too if I was feeling this hopeless. This was all so forceful, and I still stayed true to my words that this town would bring nothing but despair.

I miss her so much.

_____

A month had passed. Then there goes another, and another, and another page of the calendar falling like it was leaves swiftly letting go of their hold as fall comes around. All hours I spent at school yet all I remember was walking to and walking away from it. Everything else in my life was going in a timelapse, and it seemed like no force was great enough to stop it and put it back on track.

I missed when I had so much to say and so many to do, nowadays it seemed like all my days were cut short.

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