dickaphobia ➲ c.h

vingt-deux; cleaning & clumsiness

                         | twenty-two; cleaning & clumsiness |

      "And this is why you must use condoms during sexual intercourses."

The health ed advisor was instructing us while showing us the diagram on the board.

This was like the 8th gazillionth time I heard this stuff and honestly it's getting tiring. I'm just neutral about all of this, slightly scared too.

Obviously, I wasn't going to have sex and I don't plan on losing my virginity anytime soon.

My vagina is a sacred area. No dingaling is going in there.

I was half paying attention, my elbow rested on the desk and my palm to my cheek.

Before I knew it, my phone goes off, causing my eyes to lit up. I fumble for it, placing underneath my desk and thinking it was who I thought it was going to be.

Instead, it wasn't.

ally☺: DUDE OMFG I FORGOT TELL YOU SOMWHTIFN V IMPORTNAT YESTRADY

me: WHA T

ally☺: GUESS WHAT

me: what?

ally☺: AKJDGAKSKL

me: cAN U JUST TELL ME ALREADY

I grow impatient, glancing over at the people ahead. Good thing I'm sitting in the back.

ally☺: so I have two news!! good news n bad-ish news

me: tell me the "bad-ish" news first :o

ally☺: I'll tell you the good news first then,,, loGAn ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND

me: aww yay!! I'm so happy for you!!

ally☺: ikr and I'm still not over it akjdgjskl ^-^

me: I TOLD YOU IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

ally☺: shushhhhh but anyways, that ties up with bad-ish news /).(\

me: ......?

ally☺: he invited me to dana's party.

me: wut

ally☺: yeah but that's not it, he wants to meet my friends and wants you guys to come since he's the brother of her boyfriend sO LIKe ya

me: IM TRYINF NOT TO LAUGFH IN CLASS RN BC U ACTUALLY THINK IM GONNA GO

ally☺:  pleaseeeeee :(((

me: well YOU could go just not me

me: but I'd watch out for her and her games if I were you

ally☺: PLEASE CUM

ally☺: COME****

ally☺: OMFG AUTOCORRECT

me: um ya, I'll cum in 682764810171974652 years :D

ally☺: can you atleast think about it?

me: .....I thought about it. my answer: no.

ally☺: mEANIE!!!

me: I DON'T DO PARTIES UNLESS THEYRE IN MY ROOM N IM THE ONLY PERSON THERE

ally☺: that's something a loner would say.

me: I love me, myself and I :-)

ally☺: just think about it like actually think about until friday, k?