dickaphobia ➲ c.h

trois; hand sniffers

        |  three; hand sniffers |

 “Dick-a what?”

He stared down at me quite confused. I bite down on my bottom lip nervously.

“Dickaphobia.” I blurt out sheepishly.

Calum stood there silent for a moment trying to process this and looked around the room in thinking mode before looking back at me with his eyebrow raised.

“There’s no such thing as that. It doesn’t even make sense.” He breaths out.

“Is too. It’s the fear of ….ya know—down there.” I wave my hands around at his part, gesturing it to him.   

He pulls up his pants and sits ontop of the desk in front.

“Adickia, You’re a liar.” He still wasn’t convinced.

“Dude, I’m not even kidding. I’m just not used to looking at guy parts and you can call me a child or a baby but that’s just the truth. Ever since I was little….I experienced something that I shouldn’t have and it’s still stuck to my memory.” I confessed.

“No way— but…. ” He cuts himself off, hesitating to what he was about to say.

“Yes way.” I sigh and lean back in my chair.

“Wait so, are you like a lesbian but you still suck dicks?” he asks. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe we’re actually having this conversation.

“No!” I snap.

 “But that makes no sense to me because if you have a phobia with dicks then how did you suck those guy’s and how did you have sex with them?” he questions.

 “I didn’t…”

He continues for me to go on, kind of entertained.

I take a deep breath, “They were rumors and lies. I didn’t suck anyone’s dick and I’ve never really had sex with anyone ever.”

“But—how about Ashton? You lost his virginity to him! Or was that also a rumor?” he jumps from his seat.

“Okay listen, I almost lost my virginity to that loser. But once I saw his big dingaling…I ran out.” I mumble out. I feel like such a baby right now. Like a scared little seventeen year old baby who’s afraid of penises.

I look to find Calum amused, laughing so hard and clutching onto his stomach.

“Stop laughing! It’s not that funny.” I cross my arms.

“Um yeah it is.” He stifles a laugh.

I just roll my eyes.

“It’s not my fault I wanna keep my virginity.” I say.

“Well no wonder you guys are so awkward when you’re in the same room. You could literally feel the tension coming from you guys.”

“Hey well that’s just—wait what?” now it’s my turn to raise my eyebrow. “Have you been watching me or something?”

“Uh… no…” he avoids eye contact.

“Calum. Look at me.” I sit up and force him to look into my eyes.

“No. What if I don’t wanna look at your fugly face?” he scoffs.

 My jaw drops.

“Shut the fuck up.” I retort suddenly feeling self-conscious.

 I know I’m not the prettiest girl and I just ignore those comments but I kinda felt hurt when he said that. Cus’ well..he’s Calum Hood. He makes me feel sort of different and I don’t even know how when I’ve only been in the same room with him for an hour or so.   

 He lets out a little chuckle and looks back at me.

“I’m kidding.” he said.

“Sure you are. I know I’m a fugly little troll okay?” I chortle.

“Uh no honey, bae you da sexiest queen bee in da schul don’t sey dat. Nu dun’t even start wit meh.” He puts his hands on his hips and z-snaps.

With that I burst out laughing like a hippo on crack.

Wait do hippos even laugh? ….or smoke?

“Oh em gee, Calum don’t ever do that again.” I snort.

“Well bish shut da feck up becauze I do wut I want I’m Asian.” He flips his invisible long hair and shoves his hand in my face.

“Aye get yo nasty ass hand off me.” I shove him off.

“Well me hund didn’t like you aneways!” he sticks his tongue out.

“Disgusting hand. It smells like sweat and a dead rat mixed in with a pineapple.” I mutter.

“Ew! No it doesn’t…” he slowly brings his hand up to his nose and sniffs it.

“You actually sniffed it. I can’t even.” My eyes widened.

“Peyou! The odor probably came from your face to my hand that’s why!” he rubs his hands together.

I roll my eyes and sit back. With that brief silence in the room.   

“But seriously Adalia, you’re beautiful.” He ruins the silence and locks eyes with me.

I crack a smile. Calum Hood just called me beautiful. Wow. Trying to let that sink in but I hide it up and pretend like I didn’t care.

“Well now that I have your attention,” I smile cheekily and he smiles as well. “Have you been watching me from afar because how would you know if Ashton and I had sex or if we were in the same room in awkwardness if you’re not even in any of my classes? Or if I haven't seen you around before?”

His smile slowly fades away and I could tell he’s hiding something.

 Please don’t tell me he’s a stalker.

+*+*+

OMG THIS IS SO SHORT I'M SOWWY

IDEK I'M STUPID AND THIS WAS WEIRD TO WRITE BUT HERE YA GO.

- M