dickaphobia ➲ c.h

vingt-neuf; the hidden truth

               | twenty-nine; the hidden truth |

  Calum's heart thudded at the sight of the text, rereading it over and over until it seems like what's been forever. She had asked the dreaded question that he never thought she'd question. He sat there in the bathroom stall, his back against the wall. He was sucking down on his bottom lip apprehensively. His hand froze after shaking for a bit. He never realized how he was avoiding confrontation until this moment.

He clicked off his phone and stood up eventually, running his large hand down his face. "Fuck fuck fuck," he cursed under his breath, pacing around.

He was beyond jealous at this point. He was too attached to her.

He never thought he'd be stuck in this mess, feeling so gutted over a girl who's been messing with his feelings. He didn't even realize how he was slowly helping her get over the fear of getting laid.

He stayed up nights, pondering over how she was delusional for being scared of dicks. How fucking childish. When in reality; she obviously just wanted to stay attached to her youth and protect her body.

He wanted to protect her from the bad in the world. He even held her that night she was spiked and so tightly that he felt sick to his stomach —that Luke would even betray someone as innocent and precious as she was.

The tall boy was snapped back into reality, his body jolting up straighter at the ringing sound of the bells. He realized he still hadn't responded, he shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed his backpack.

He had only met her two months ago and he was desperately infatuated with her. Her petite figure, her adorable laugh, the way she was horrible at lying. The way she scrunches up herself nose when he says something perverted, how she thinks no one is looking at her when all he catches himself doing is; admiring her features.

It was honestly exhausting that he had to keep up an act of playing along with her and sister-zoning her. Clearly he didn't want to be her brother.

He shudders to himself at the distinct memory of the blonde and Addie kissing and he glanced over at a trash can.

'Where Luke belongs,' he thought to himself angrily.

He tugged at his messy dark roots and forced himself out of the bathroom, his eyes flickering around to find students swarming in the hallway. He glanced around swiftly for her, before the coast was clear and he walked down the hall.

He couldn't believe how much of a coward he was being by avoiding her and the whole text. Why would she even ask that?!

He was carelessly roaming down to his last period; Psychology, when all of a sudden he was dragged away to the side and his breath hitched, his eyes widening when his back hit the lockers.

"There you are..." Rachel smirked, her slender finger trailing down Calum's hard chest and the tan boy stared down at the blonde in surprise.

"Uhhh, I need to get to my next class. I don't have time for this." He muttered sheepishly, trying to push her off gently but he felt her freshly manicured nails digging into his black shirt.

"You embarrassed me over the weekend, h-how could you do that?" She hissed, starting to feign an innocent hurt voice.

A few people pass by with questioning looks and Calum forced a smile, gritting his teeth as he avoided her blue eyes. Murmurs were already starting to spread from the way Calum was captive under Rachel's grip and she was blabbering on about how he played with her feelings.

"Jesus Christ, just let go of me. You're being ridiculous right now!" He snapped at her and Rachel's lip quivered as she narrowed her eyes at him.

Fake tears began to well up and she let out a cry, "You used me for my body! You're disgusting! Everyone, Calum Hood hurt m—" He took his opportunity to grab his backpack off the floor and push past the blonde, dashing out of the hallway and running up the stairs.

Chatters grew behind him as he rushed up and down to his classroom, pushing the door and panting hard when entering.

"You're late, Hood and sweaty. Where were you, just coming out from the gym?" His teacher hissed, crossing her arms as she gave him a look.

"Yeah, I- was uh, lifting weights. Gotta keep up the game, y'know what I mean?" He jokingly held up his muscles, a sophomore girl in the back gushing over him as he does so.

He purses his lips in content when the students laughed and Ms. Jackson scolded him to his seat. "Nice one..." he mumbles to himself at the save, smirking slightly.

"Back to the lesson.."

Calum sat down and rubbed his lips together, letting out a soft sigh. He zoned out of the lesson, his heart still pounding hard and his stomach churned so bad. He buried his face into his palms and the mental image of the words across his phone screen played over in his mind.

He needed to reply.

He snuck his phone out from his pocket and hid it under the desk, unlocking it. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard screen and noticed Adalia hadn't responded since then.

He shakily forced himself to type out the next sentence.

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.
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Calum: of course I don't. why would you think such a thing?