"Wake up!" Mom says, turning on the lights, waking us up sharply.
She's already dressed. Thankfully, it had been an uneventful night. No dreams. No nightmares either.
I yawn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. We have to be on the bus by seven. It's five. I want to sleep, but I have to get ready. I go first, dressing in oversized clothes that I packed to hide my fat body.
Good choice with your clothing. Good job, Lilliana. Nobody can know that you are fat. The thoughts are turning back into urges that aren't my own. This isn't good. They're turning back.
Maybe I just need my Fluoxetine. I take the bitter pill as I brush my hair and put it into pigtails. I have to brush my teeth, but not for long, afraid that I would take the toothbrush too far on purpose.
I shakily stumble out of the bathroom. Mom raises an eyebrow at me. I lie, giving a thumbs up to her. Mom brushes it off. Maybe I am not having a near relapse. Maybe I am just tired.
After Hannah gets ready, the parents start packing as I hear Savannah's mom arguing with Sarah's mom in the room next to us. We think maybe Ms. Georgiana has irritated Ms. Kristich and it will pass quickly.
But after five minutes, we hear crying and hair tugging. Hannah and I huddle up together as Mom and Hannah's mom go to grab the kids. Sarah and Savannah are in tears. I quickly grab the emergency bag that I have in my suitcase. I open up my Kleenex tissue compact container and hand each of them hastily a tissue.
"M-Mom's putt-putting too much pressure and Sarah's mom t-tried t-to stop and..." Savannah curls up into me. I rub her back, drawing stick figures on it.
My own problems will have to wait. I don't matter right now. Two friends of mine have experienced a horrible event. But my mind twists the scenario unfolding into that I don't matter at all.
Whatever. Sarah is being comforted by Hannah. The hotel staff is now in the other room and the producers are there
Eventually, everything is over. We are all a little shaken. Sarah and Savannah stay with us until we get on the bus. I pull at my hairband excessively, snapping it against my wrist for the entire bus ride. I can tell it affected the others. I really hope this won't affect our performance.
Mom does my hair on the bus. It is ringlet curls tied back with a pink ribbon. There are a lot of people cheering for Ms. Abby, so I'm hoping that'll put everybody in a good mood.
There is a lot of tension between Sarah and Savannah's moms in the dressing room, going as far as them starting to argue in the hallway. Personally, I think it is very unprofessional as we all share uncomfortable glances at each other. This is about dance, not about your personal issues.
Brady's mom goes out there to calm down Savannah, who is in panicked tears. Pressley's mom covers for Brady's mom, doing Brady's makeup in the meantime. I don't know what is going on. I just want to take a million Fluoxetine pills. That will make everything better.
But I can't, because I have to get ready for my solo. A pink dress with many ruffles that make me look like a pretty doll who can do no wrong, which I guess is the style we are going for. I am also busy trying to follow the conversation that is happening between Ms. Paolantonio, Ms. Georgiana, and Mom.
"I didn't do anything to her, right?" Ms. Georgiana asks.
The other moms shake their heads.
"Erin's just a little wound tight," they all conclude as I begin to do my makeup.
Savannah still hasn't come back by the time Ms. Abby and Ms. Gianna have come in. Get ready for Ms. Abby's sweet mood to sour.
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Une Fleure Fanée
Fanfiction***MATURE WARNING*** "The hunger is good. You had too many calories already. You're already fat." "They'll love you even more when you're skinny. You'll be their perfect little angel when you're nice and pretty." "Lilly, I heard you puking up the c...
