***lilly***
My alarm goes off and I hear Elliana's alarm go off too. The walls are thinner. I hope she didn't hear me cry last night. It was quiet, but maybe not quiet enough. She's going to tell your Mom that you're depressed, Lilliana. You screwed this whole thing up.
I pray that she didn't hear me last night as I get up from bed and stretch. She probably didn't. I take my meds and do my hair in two french braids. I do my skincare and my makeup, and then I remember my calorie limit. 500 calories.
I pick out some black dancewear. Whenever I can, I choose black. Black makes you look skinnier. You look so fat in that tank top, Lilliana. At least you chose leggings. I have to leave in fifteen minutes. Just enough for breakfast. Cornflakes are 100 calories. I decide against milk, because it has 103 calories.
"Lilly, we're gonna take Elliana to dance- wait. Why don't you have milk in your Cornflakes?" Mom asks me as she's making her coffee.
"Because... I don't want my Cornflakes to get soggy," I quickly lie, and Mom luckily believes it.
My mind lingers on the fact that Elliana and I are going to carpool to the studio for privates, and my excitement grows. To save time, Mom receives an email with the schedule and texts it to me. I'm in group A.
I have lyrical at 7:00, school at 8:00, hip hop at 9:00, contemporary at 10:00, lunch and school at 11:00. Acro and gym tumbling at 12:00, jazz at 1:00, school at 2:00, and then to cap off the day, jumps and turns at 3:00.
I'm a little upset that I don't have ballet, but at least I have hip hop. I grab my dance bag after putting the dish in the sink. Despite having a 500 calorie limit, I spot chicken breasts in the fridge. That's like, half, my calories.
I pack five baby carrots, and a cup of blueberries. 135 calories. I make sure to grab my phone and water bottle as I head to the lobby. Elliana is already there. She's wearing white and also has her hair in two french braids.
"Oh my God! Twinsies! Ready to go?" I ask, playing with my braids.
"Yeah! Lemme take a pic," Elliana says before placing her phone in front of us for a selfie.
I quickly throw one of my braids up in the air for the photo and then we go to the car on my way to the car.
"I'm in Group A, what's your group?" I ask Elliana.
"I think Group A? I have lyrical for the first class though," Elliana replies, shrugging.
"We're in the same group then!" I squeal, looking out the window briefly.
***elliana***
Her tank top looks a little baggy around her, and her leggings look a little big. She's already tiny. I remember when I said goodbye to her at the airport. Her leggings didn't have any space, and now it looks like she could fit a pencil. She hasn't grown an inch. Maybe it's just her body changing naturally. Something just seems wrong.
***lilly***
As I look back away from the window, I notice Elliana looking at my legs. Elliana thinks they're fat, Lilliana. You're so ugly and fat. Not wanting to raise concern from Mom, I text Elliana. I make sure to choose my words carefully to not raise suspicion.
Lils: wut's wrong? do my legs look weird?
Elli: no, just looking around
This is the second time she's looked at me weird. I gulp, and the happy mood is shut down. I scroll on Instagram, and those couple of comments that call me fat and tell me I should get an eating disorder sting in my head. Everybody thinks you're fat, Lilliana. Even strangers think you're fat.
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Une Fleure Fanée
Fanfiction***MATURE WARNING*** "The hunger is good. You had too many calories already. You're already fat." "They'll love you even more when you're skinny. You'll be their perfect little angel when you're nice and pretty." "Lilly, I heard you puking up the c...
