Une Fleure Fanée

Week 5 Part 5 (Friday)

      I have another screaming fit, but Mom doesn't wake me up. Did she sleep through my screams? Maybe. Call time for the studio is at six in the morning, so we have to wake up at four in the morning, pile up into Brady's mom's car, and be able to rehearse perfectly. In total, I got three hours of sleep.

     "I had another screaming fit last night," I blandly inform Mom, who's putting on her makeup.

     "Really? I didn't hear anything. Sorry I didn't wake you up," Mom apologizes, focusing on her eyeliner.

     I give her a thumbs up before grabbing a vanilla Ensure from the fridge and a pill, fully knowing that not a single drop of the Ensure will be ingested. My stomach aches with hunger, and I almost give in to the temptation, but the voices remind me not to. Remember, an Ensure has 220 calories, Lilliana. 220 calories too many. Unless you want to be fat. 

     I sigh in discontentment and sleepily make my way to the elevator with Mom. I open the Ensure and "chug it" in front of my Mom in the elevator, who gives a disgusted look at me.

     "Jesus Lilly, slow down. You're gonna make yourself sick," she scoffs at me before looking away from me at the metal walls.

     I stop "chugging the Ensure" and take my pill. I look down at the metal floor before the ding of the elevator signals that we've reached the lobby where GiaNina and Brady are coming down the stairs. Brady looks lost, like life is hopeless. Ms. Farrar has those big chunk sunglasses covering her eyes, but I can tell she is pissed, ready to snap at any moment.

     "Good luck at the competition!" the receptionist exclaims as we walk past the desk near the door, fully not knowing that this will

     "Thank you!" all the kids, including me, and moms respond back with a smile at the receptionist, who is quickly distracted by a phone call.

     Brady's mom's car has one of those setups where you have the driver's and passenger's seats. Then in the second row, you have two seats, one on either side of the car creating an aisle. In the back are three connected seats. We often sat in the three connected seats, and today was no different. Mom sits in the passenger seat, and GiaNina's mom sits in the seat behind the driver's.

     Brady stares at the window, looking out the window where it is raining. Again. GiaNina is on her Snapchat, talking to her friends back in New Jersey. I look down at the floor, unsure on how to act and what to do. My stomach is in a lot of pain, so I put my arms over my stomach, but not in a way to attract attention.

     "Can't believe this will be my last dance," Brady breaks the silence, adding a small sad chuckle.

     I rub his shoulder, saying, "You don't deserve this Brady. Nobody wants you to go. We'll miss you a lot."

     The rest of the car ride is in silence. When we walk into the studio, Ms. Abby is very tired, having a big Starbucks coffee in her hand. Brady looks around the dancer's den a lot. I think he's trying to remember what this place looks like. He shouldn't have to go.

     "Kids, come on! Group rehearsal!" Ms. Abby yells from Studio A. Brady's last group rehearsal.

     There's a couple of reblockings and spacings, but nothing major that happens. We picked up the choreo for this dance really fast. This group dance is supposed to be very over the top, flamboyant, for lack of a better term: Freddie Mercury-esque. It's not that. But it's still a good number.

     For once, Ms. Abby claps. She likes the dance. She likes the dance! I bounce a bit on my toes. I'm not a failure. At least not today. We all step to the side so we can watch the four solos. GiaNina goes first.