Une Fleure Fanée

Week 15 Part 5 (Thursday)

***lilly***

     I wake up in my bed at eight in the morning. I have been falling asleep a lot lately. My makeup is off my face, so Mom must have wiped down my face, but my arms are still covered by the hoodies, so hopefully, she didn't notice.

     Life without Motrin is so different. Immediately, I stagger to the bathroom to take a dose of Motrin before I decide what I'm going to wear for the sleepover party. I look at my stomach. It's relatively flat. A little flatter than my ribs. I'll wear a two-piece, then.

     I find a denim one with white buttons on the front of the top, and normal jeans on the bottom. Very flowy, loose pants. I look good in it. My cheekbones are nicely defined, and my stomach looks flat. Your stomach isn't flat, Lilliana. It's fat. Who are you kidding?

     I don't have time for that. I just put on a black choker and necklace combo before running to the bathroom to put some curled pigtails in my hair and a red lip with basic makeup. I don't want to look too showy. It's only a sleepover episode, or they're calling it a dance party episode.

     I start recovering my cuts. They haven't faded, but the scars that won't be permanent will fade in two years if I make it that long. The deeper ones will be permanent, but very pale, so I'll probably not even have to put makeup on if I reach twelve.

     After about ten minutes, I skip my medicine again, but I don't flush them right away. I've gone six days without eating, so I'm also going to be flushing my Ensure down the toilet. Yesterday, there was no difference without my medicine than with my medicine, so why not just stop taking them?

     Mom's dropping me off and the moms are going out to lunch. Berkleigh and Paris aren't coming. Only the original gangstas get to attend the dance party. I go into the main room and grab an Ensure. I acknowledge Mom but I don't speak to her. Five minutes later, the Ensure is down the toilet with meds. The strawberry liquid looks like Pepto Bismol. Gross.

     "Lilly put on some black boots to match the necklace and we have to go!" Mom shouts, and I run to my closet for black boots and my phone.

     I have a slight twinge of a headache, but so much better than if I didn't take Motrin. I'm excited to film this. Fun with my friends that isn't drama-related. Haven't had this in weeks! I excitedly run to the car, doing a front aerial walkover now and then.

     I get in the back seat of the car and I'm bouncing up and down with energy. As long as I can not eat food on set, it's going to be a good day. At the end of the day, I will have made it seven days without eating! You need to starve more, Lilliana. You cannot be more than forty-five pounds for the competition.

     The drive is the same, but I have Week One excitement! Mom turns on the radio, and I'm incessantly texting my friends. We're all very excited. I see the Abby Lee Dance Company just pass by us. A wave of euphoria runs through me as we park in the next-door building.

     I tentatively walk into the studio and Brady is there. There's a sign posted on a door. Dance Moms Studio 3C: Dance Party.

     "Where is Studio 3C?" Brady asks, and I shrug.

     "You two have fun! We're going to Hello Bistro!" Mom and Tricia shout, leaving us to our devices.

     I quickly whip out my phone and call Gia. No answer. Pressley. No answer. Sarah finally picks up. She's at the studio.

     "Help! We don't know where to go!" Brady yells, grabbing my phone.

     "Okay, go through the door to the left, go down the entire hall, swing a right, third door to the right," Sarah states before hanging up.