Chapter 4- Words

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The next week I go to the gym with the guys. We're all pretty into working out, and I tend to get into friendly (well, usually friendly) competitions.

"I am going to kick your butt today," Jungkook informs me.

Sadly, I don't doubt it. For being only seventeen, he's strangely strong. I choose to compete with the other guys, knowing Jungkook will somehow beat me at everything. So today I make my goal; Jimin.

As Jimin is running on the treadmill, I smirk at him from my own machine. "That's the speed you're running at?"

Jimin just laughs and looks over. "I never know how to respond to you." But he increases the speed anyway.

(This picture is low-key me haha) 

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(This picture is low-key me haha) 

I watch him the whole time we're jogging, grinning at him, until he bursts out in laughter and stops running.

"You're so creepy just staring at me like that!" He laughs. "I can't concentrate on running!"

"Haha!" I pump my fist in the air. "Mission accomplished."

Then I nearly eat it on the treadmill, but manage to regain my balance and hold onto the bars for dear life. Jimin collapses next to me in peals of laughter. "You're dangerous to go to the gym with."

"I am perfectly fine," I pant. "All good."

When we finish the cardio portion, we're sweating buckets. I make a point of wiping it on him, because that's just who I am. "Aye," Jimin groans. Then he chases me around. I nearly knock Jin over in my haste to escape. All in all, we're a mess. Must be funny to watch, though.

Eventually we move on to weights and pull ups. Jimin and I do them next to each other, determined to out-perform. I lose my motivation from the start, due to the fact that I have to legit be lifted up to reach the bar. Jimin collapses with laughter as Tae lifts me up. A sad sight indeed.

I do eight pull-ups, which I'm pretty proud of, and Jimin does twenty. I just roll my eyes. "Show off."

Jimin looks hilariously appalled. "You cheated on the treadmill race and now your only comeback is to call me a cheater?"

I slap his shoulder. "This is just who I am. I can't help it. I like to win."

Jimin just laughs, and Jungkook butts in. "Just that feeling of knowing you did better than someone is just amazing," he says, miming a chef's kiss.

I nod repeatedly.

At that point the rest of the guys have joined us. "You guys are freaks of nature," Hobi laughs.

We bow together. "And you love us for it," Jungkook smiles innocently while I laugh.

And they do.

Finally we're finished with the gym, tired and sweaty messes. I laugh at my appearance in the mirror. Some people come out of the gym looking like they've just been professionally made over, and I look like I spent my night in a furnace. But it's all good. I'm feeling pretty good about myself for completing my workout when my phone starts to ping with a text message.

Ew, no I don't wanna go to prom with you.

It's my friend Max.

I had texted him earlier, jokingly suggesting that we go to prom together. We have a strictly platonic relationship, (in fact he likes someone else) and I have no interest in him being my date. I was joking, saying that we go together, (and I meant as friends) but he clearly misinterpreted that. I'm sure he doesn't mean what he said to the extent, he just sometimes doesn't always think about the way his texts come across. Which is fine, it's nothing. I ignore his text, laughing it off like I know I should.

But now I look at myself in the mirror, wishing I look different. I'm usually pretty confident about myself, but there's just those days that you can't help but see things that you desperately want to change. 

I ignore his text, laughing it off like I know I should. It'd just be dramatic if I cared. 

But when I get back to the guys house, I'm fixating heavily on an incident from ninth grade.

(flashback)

I was sitting patiently in class, waiting for the teacher to initiate lessons, (like the good student I used to be haha) and my ears were perked, listening to conversations around me. I was a quiet kid, never talked much in class, so that led me to finding entertainment in everyone else's discussions. No matter how quiet they thought they talked, I was always listening. So on this particular day, I was listening intently to a boy named Jacob and Daniel talk about the girls in their classes. Daniel was saying how Samantha was pretty, and Jacob was agreeing. I nodded along silently, because, well, she was.

At some point I heard my name pop up. I think they were asking each other about each and every girl. "Would you kiss Hanna?" Daniels asks Jacob quietly.

I feel my heart flutter, because Jacob is popular and sorta cute and wouldn't it be cool if he did! So I listen closer as they lower their voices even more.

Jacob laughs. "Nah."

I freeze.

"Why not?" Daniel asks.

"Cause she's ugly," he replies, plain and simple.

Those three words crush me. I lean forward in my chair, the words buzzing in the air around me. I try my best not to cry. From then on, every time I would imagine myself being pretty, I'd hear him saying it, again and again. I can't shake the feeling.

I know it was just a dumb boy, immature, in middle school. Years and years ago. But there's something about words; they hurt more than anything else. 



(This chapter got a bit deep haha. Don't worry, it'll get more lighthearted soon! Hope you're all enjoying the read! Comment to tell me what you think!) 

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