Chapter 17- I'll Be There For You

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"So, what's our game-plan for college?" Jimin says, clapping his hands together. The idea of me leaving has inspired him to find other suggestions and at least explore others. 

"Why don't we go visit some colleges with my parents this weekend? We probably can't go to Colorado, so for now we can keep looking."

I hesitate at first, because he looks unhappy. But then he nods. "Okay, that makes sense. Keeping your options open in good."

"Okay," I respond. And I text my parents asking if this upcoming weekend we can go visit some colleges. We've already gone on a few weekends, but this one is going to be more in depth, because this time people will actually be on campus.

*******

The next weekend I go visit a few colleges with Eva and Sarah. Eva already chose her school (Cal State Fullerton) but she knows how stressful it is, so she happily joins us. We mainly visit the colleges that are nearby, no more than a twenty minute drive. None of them call out to me. They seem good, but I don't feel the same connection I had at Colorado. There was something about it.

I'm up bright and early on Saturday morning, ready to go with my parents and Jimin to visit some more. I eat some breakfast, get ready, and happily open the door when Jimin rings the doorbell. "Hey," he smiles down at me.

"Hi."

"You ready to go?"

"Yes, just one sec," I promise. Then I grab my prescription glasses and shove them on my face.

Jimin snorts. "Are you trying to look smart for them?"

I nod rapidly. "Yep. Plus I usually wear contacts, so what a perfect day to just, you know, happen to be wearing my smart glasses."

He just laughs. "I'm sure that that will show them your IQ."

I roll my eyes. "Eh, who knows. Better to be safe than sorry."

My parents join us on the porch, saying hello to Jimin, who immediately becomes his most composed self around them. We pile awkwardly into the car, struggling to find something to say.

I whisper to Jimin in the backseat, while my parents talk loudly in the front all through the long ride to the first college stop. UC Davis. A definite possibility.

We wander throughout the campus, exploring the classrooms, dorms, and the outdoor area. It's quite pretty and modern. But it doesn't feel exactly like me. We traverse about four or five campuses all in the nearby area (maximum one hour drives). And they're all viable options for sure. By the end of the day we're all tired out, warm and red from the constant sun, and content from our long day of college visiting. I'm no closer to my decision, but I'm at least feeling a bit better.

When we make it back home, I kiss Jimin goodbye and head to my room, making yet another pros and cons list. I don't know why I keep doing them, but they feel effective. Feels like I have my shit together even though I have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life.

The next few weeks I spend lots of time studying and preparing and looking into college. I had already applied to many schools, and most I've heard from already. I got into most, but that makes the decision harder. I'm still waiting for UC Santa Barbara, University of Colorado, and a few others scattered across the west.

                                                                                  ********

"Okay, that's it," Jin says one day. "I can't take it anymore."

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