Clover (Daryl Dixon X Male Character)

wish I replaced Shane with Otis

A/N: in case anyone needs a summary of what I changed, instead of Shane Jaxx went with Otis. Otis actually died saving Jaxx and Jaxx feels guilty for it. I'm basically rewriting twd 🤫

Jaxx limped his way to the porch, Rick and Shane grabbed both bags from jaxx. "Carl?" Jaxx asked, praying he wasn't too late. "There's still a chance" Rick replied, jaxx breathed a sigh of relief. "Otis?.." Herschel asked, Jaxx shook his head. "H-He... He didn't make it.. I'm so sorry." Jaxx's voice shook with guilt, luckily Patricia had gone inside before she could hear. Herschel and his daughter Maggie stood in complete silence for a moment.

"We say nothing to Patricia, I need her." Herschel finally spoke up, looking to Rick and Maggie. As Shane, Herschel,  and Glenn ran back inside, Rick stayed behind. Jaxx's eyes began to sting from the tears he had held in for so long. Rick gave him a hug, comforting the Irishman just a little. "Th-The walkers surrounded us... He ran to a dead end and started firing at them a-and I tried to save him but I.. I was too late... Im sorry I'm so sorry.." Lori gave Maggie a side hug as jaxx spoke, his chest felt as if a brick sat upon him.

"He wanted to make it right..." Rick responded, but all jaxx could hear was the cries from Maggie. "Carl.. I need to help carl." Jaxx murmured, begining to limp towards the house. Rick stopped him, clearly Jaxx couldn't do much on a sprained ankle.

"You're hurt too man, just.. Wait here with us. Pray for the boy." Rick asked, Jaxx could only nod and sit against the porch steps beside Lori, his rosary tight in his fist. "D-Daryl?" Jaxx asked, Lori shook her head.

"Not until morning when the roads are clearer.."

"Lord I need him right now..." Jaxx muttered, leaning back against the steps to look up at the stars. "Y'know.. This reminds me. Daryl and I once tried to have a child..."

*

"Really? I never guessed.. No Offence." Carol said, aiming her flashlight into some nearby bushes. "Yeah.. Pooled up as much as we could 'n hired one of them women you hire to have your kid for you. Jaxx was.. So damn excited I'd find him asleep in the kids room cause he spent all day decoratin' it." Daryl's voice lightened as he spoke, Carol let out a light chuckle.

"Who did the uhm.. You know the giving part?" Carol asked, Daryl shined his flashlight into some trees. "He did, he wanted me to but I really didn' want to. I spent so much of my time in baby isles in stores... Even remember the theme."

*

"It was grey and yellow.. I wanted gender neutral colors. It was so bright, so fun.. Daryl and I would call the baby our little lemon head. He didn't really show it but, he was just as excited as I was... And just as afraid." Jaxx half heartedly chuckled, fiddling with his rosary in his hands.

"What.. Happened to it?" Lori asked, resting her head on Rick's shoulder.

*

"Well 'bout eight months into it, our surrogate fell down some stairs.. She went into labor early. Jaxx 'n I got the call in the middle of the night, rushed right to the hospital... Funny thing was when we got to see a doc I asked if the kid was okay, an' he asked if the surrogate was a okay.. An' she was but the kid... Yeah." Daryl said, his story coming to an abrupt end.

*

"Oh honey I'm so sorry.." Lori consoled, Jaxx smiled a little and put his rosary in his pocket. "It's.. It's alright. I know the Lord takes good care of their soul. I'm actually.. Glad that it happened now. They would have been seven when this all started... A seven year old seeing all this.. I can't imagine." Jaxx responded truthfully.

*

"So if you're wonderin' why I'm so concerned about sofia.. Now ya know." Daryl said, loading his crossbow as he heard the shuffle of leaves. "Daryl.. Thank you for trusting me with that." Carol said, shining her flashlight into the rustling tree. Instead of a frightened little girl, the two looked up to see a walker hanging by it's neck. Carol gasped and jumped back.

"Relax, ain't goin' no where... Stupid son of a bitch tried hangin' himself. C'mon let's head back to the highway." Daryl said, turning around to leave. "Are we just going to leave it there?.." Carol asked, feeling sorry for the hanging living corpse.

"Seriously? It's just a walker. Can't do anythin' to no one up there" Daryl said stopping to look back at Carol. "It just.. Looks so pitiful... Please?" Carol asked. And who could say no to Carol?

Daryl sighed and aimed his crossbow at the walker, sending the arrow into it's head. "You definitely owe me an arrow now." Daryl said in a slight joking manner, Carol smiled slightly.

*

After seemingly several hours, Herschel finally stepped out of the farmhouse. With ricks help up, Jaxx rose to hear the news. "He seems to have Stabilized." Lori cried a sigh of relief as Rick let out a shaky breath. "Oh god.. I don't have words..." Lori said, giving her husband a hug. "I don't either.. I wish I did. But, what do we tell Patricia about Otis?" Herschel asked, looking at Rick and then at Jaxx

"I'll tell her.. His death was my responsibility." Jaxx said, Shane scoffed as he leaned next to the front door. "Got that right.." He mumbled, Jaxx felt fire in his chest. "Enough, Shane.. Lori you go ahead and see Carl I'll go with Jaxx." Rick intervened, Lori nodded and followed Maggie back into the farmhouse.

As Jaxx followed Rick and Herschel, all he could think about was Otis.

As Jaxx began to break the news, Patricia began to cry. Jaxx had done it before, telling someone about the passing of a loved one. But before it had been from cancer and surgery failures. The sight of a person breaking down into tears had become almost a normal sight for him.

But when the death was so brutal, with his own guilt crushing him, he felt like breaking down right alongside her. "Jaxx, it's okay.. You should clean up." Rick said, Jaxx nodded at the dismissal, leaving the room. Maggie approached Jaxx with some clothes. "Here's some clothes for you... Sorry they don't fit very well, they were otis's.." Maggie handed jaxx the overalls and flannel shirt.

"Maggie.. I'm so sorry. If I could replace his life for mine I would in a heart beat..." Jaxx consoled, Maggie shook her head as she wiped tears from her eyes. "Yeah well you didn't..." Was all she said as she walked away.

Jaxx frowned as he stepped into the nearest bathroom, setting the clean clothes in the sink as he closed the door. "Oh wonder boy.. How I wish you could join me." Jaxx said to himself, turning the shower on. Once he cleaned himself off jaxx stepped out of the shower and wiped down the foggy mirror, looking at himself.

He teased his hair as he thought back to the high school. How that walker almost grabbed him by his long fiery curls. 'Maybe I should do something with this...' He thought, looking for hair clippers. Finding a set in the sink cabinet, he sectioned his hair and started to cut.

By the time he was finished, red hair pooled around his feet, and the sides of his head were shaved down. "Jesus.. Forgot what my head looked like." He said, chuckling a bit. Not wanting to be even more of a pain, he cleaned up and got dressed.

After throwing away his torn shirt and hair remains, jaxx made his way to the room where carl lay resting. The 12 year old seemed paler than Jaxx, almost corpse like. Lori sat by his side, holding her sons hand.

"Poor boy.. He's so pale..." Jaxx said softly, walking towards the right side of the bed and checking the boys temperature out of habit. He felt ice cold. "And cold.. He did loose a lot of blood." He murmured, Lori looked up at the irishman and sniffled as she had just been crying.

"Th-Thats a new look.." She commented, Jaxx half smiled. "It is... A walker almost grabbed me by my hair back in that high school.." Jaxx replied, shivering at the thought. The thing that gave him the most strength almost costed him his life.

"It's nice.. Carl will like it." Lori said, brushing the boys hair out of his face with her fingers. "I'm sure he will.." Jaxx Held the boys other hand, which also was cold as ice.

"You know, if I ever had our child... He would have loved them."

A/N: hey y'all new hair means new picrew look, I'm excited ☺