Clover (Daryl Dixon X Male Character)

now is not the time to be emo, Beth

A/N: not only does this chapter song fit the situation at hand, but it's also a very noticeable Jaxx song. Also y'all I'm just powerhouse running through these chapters before my brain runs out of inspo juice

Even though Herschel was back, Beth still refused to leave her bed. As Jaxx sliced up a cucumber for her lunch, Maggie and Lori talked about Glenn. "I'm telling ya, whatever happens out there happens out there. And we're just trying to keep it together till they get back." Lori spoke as she grabbed silverware for Beth's tray, Jaxx let out a breathy chuckle.

"Yes the very macho men go out and abandon my injured ex friend, while we attempt feed a lass that hasn't eaten in two days." He added, spooning the mixed veggies on Beth's plate. "Ignore that, rambling. But seriously Maggie, he just got freaked out and tried to find any reason as to why... He's a big boy he makes his own choices."

Jaxx set up the tray as he spoke, he kept drawing his attention to the steak knife Lori placed on the tray. "Just tell him to man up, hon. Well not in that exact way, never goes well." Lori added, the three had a chuckle together.

"I'll take this up to Beth, you ladies work hard enough." Jaxx said, taking the tray out of the kitchen and upstairs to Beth's room. "Here you are, Beth. Meal fit for a princess like yourself." Jaxx greeted, placing the tray down on the night stand next to her.

Without a word, Beth sat up and looked at the tray of food. No reaction. "Uh.. How about, you eat as much as you can... And we'll go on a little walk outside when you're all finished. It'd do you well to be in the sun." Jaxx said, his tone a bit awkward from the silence.

"Lori's pregnant... How could she do that?" Beth asked, Jaxx internally wished he let one of the girls take the food up instead of him. "Well, lass she didn't really have a choice.." Jaxx admitted, why tell her anything but the truth?

"As if it'll make anything better." Beth commented, Jaxx rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, suppose maybe it will... You try and eat something, alright?" Jaxx said, leaving the room and the conversation behind him.

"Now I remember why I stuck to the ten and under halls, Bedridden teenagers are the worst." Jaxx said to Lori who was waiting for him downstairs. "That they are... Where's Daryl?" She asked, Jaxx shrugged.

"Last I seen 'em he was talking with Carol out by the graves. Why?" Jaxx counter questioned.

"I was just wondering... Usually you two are sewn at the hip." She commented, Jaxx nodded.

"We are usually, but he's a loner at heart. Sometimes he just likes to go on his own, and I give him the space he needs." Jaxx replied, sitting up on the kitchen counter to help Lori wash and dry dishes. As they talked, Jaxx couldn't help but sense something was off. Half an hour later, he headed back upstairs to check on Beth.

Opening the door, he saw Beth sitting right where he left her, and the tray of food untouched. "Couldn't eat a bite, aye? No matter-" Jaxx paused as he heard Beth sniffle from crying. Jaxx kneeled beside her, and gently held her hand.

"Lass, I know this is hard.. I saw my own mother turn into one of those... Things. I couldn't bear to end her suffering." Jaxx said softly, Beth sniffled. "It's just so pointless.." She said, not breaking her gaze from the window in front of her.

"You have your family still, Beth. Your sister, father, Patricia, Jimmy.. And you must stay strong for them. For yourself. What would Maggie do without her little sister? I wish I could promise everything will be okay, but I just don't know. And sometimes.. Not knowing is okay." Jaxx said, Beth squeezed his hand and looked at him.

"Thank you.." She said softly, Jaxx gave her a small smile. "No problem, Beth.. Let me take this down to the kitchen, then we'll go have that stroll." Jaxx replied, getting up and grabbing the tray. Looking down at it, he noticed something was missing. Jaxx turned back to look at the girl.

"Give it here, Lass." Jaxx asked softly, holding his hand out to Beth. Reluctantly, she pulled the steak knife out from under her pillow and gave it to him. Jaxx paused for a moment, the knife in his hand. Setting the tray and knife back down, he sat on the foot of the bed across from Beth.

"I tried to do the same thing when I was your age." He said, peaking her interest. "Why?"

"Well, I was an emotional teenage boy, and my entire world was falling apart in my eyes. I told the wrong family member about my mother's love life, and it spread like wildfire throughout our Catholic family... They were being so cruel to us. I blamed myself for every moment of it.. And it drove me to the same thoughts you have right now." Jaxx took a deep breath and raked his fingers through his hair.

"I took a knife to my wrist.. But I got so damn scared I didn't go deep enough. You know the whole "this isn't the way" spiel, but I'm telling you straight up. It may seem like the easiest option right now, but when you're doing it and you feel your body trying to stay alive? It's scarier than any of those walking corpses." He admitted, Beth kept her full attention on him.

"Why do you care so badly?" She asked, her knees to her chest as she sat against the headboard.

"Because I've seen many, many teens either die from their attempts or come in my hospital dead because they succeeded... And in this.. Fucked up new world, the less dead kids? The better. Here, I have this trick I used to do. Take your hair tie and put it on your wrist, when you feel the urge, snap the tie against your wrist. The sting will calm you down." He instructed, Beth did so.

With a snap of the hair tie on her wrist, she softened her face a bit. "It's.. Kind of working." She replied, Jaxx stood back up. "Good. Now, I'm not going to tell anyone about what you just tried to do, but please Beth.. Promise me you'll stay strong. Please." He begged, patting her shoulder before grabbing the tray again and leaving the room.

Heading back down, Jaxx cleaned off the plate and put the untouched food away for someone later. "Didn't eat anything?" Lori asked, Jaxx nodded. "Ate a couple bites, but nothing else.." He replied, washing the plate and utensils.

"Mind if I take this to Daryl? He hasn't eaten all day." Jaxx asked, Lori waved him away. "Go ahead sweetheart I'll watch Beth until Maggie gets back."

Heading out the door, Jaxx searched for his husband. After ten minutes of looking, he finally found him working on the chopper by their camp. "There you are, Wonderboy. Brought you some lunch." He greeted, giving his husband a kiss on the top of his head and sitting beside him in the dirt.

"Kid didn't eat again?" Daryl asked, Jaxx nodded. "At this point force feed her, ain't eaten in two days." Daryl added, going back to his work. Jaxx cringed at the thought.

"That sounds.. Cruel. So no. But.. I did talk her out of killing herself." Jaxx replied, Daryl stopped and turned to look at Jaxx with a questioning look.

"She tried to take the steak knife we gave her with her food.. Told her about my experience in that area, gave her some tips to make herself feel better... I just don't want to see another dead child." Jaxx added, Daryl put down his wrench and held Jaxx's hand.

"Clover.. We're gonna see that. Don' matter how hard we try not to." He replied softly, Jaxx leaned against him.

They sat in silence for a moment, Jaxx watched the sun lower ever so slightly. This new world where people kill each other without hesitation, where children die and turn into flesh eating monsters... It's a world Jaxx could only hope to be a nightmare. But here he was, living every day of it.

"Sometimes I wonder what exactly human kind did to piss god off this badly." Jaxx commented, Daryl shrugged.

"I think he's just bored."

A/N: seriously who used to ship Beth and Daryl Beth is canonically 17 when she dies which makes her 16 now 🤢