Blue Ribbon

Chapter 19 - You changed me

"No one ever ever told me; in love, you drown."

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Lilly's POV

My heart raced, it thudded and pumped harder as I stared down at my hands. Bloodied hands. Red crimson liquid tainted my fingers and my clothes. It was everywhere. It was all I could see. Not my blood, no, and at the moment, I wished it was mine.

The sound of my heavy breathing filled the small damp room as I tried to wipe it away, I tried and tried but it didn't go, it didn't fade away. It stayed, sticking to my hand like a second skin, a definite proof of my actions, of my mistakes. I groaned as I rubbed harder at the inside of my palms but with no use. The air stuck in my throat, suffocating and heavy with a metallic scent.

I looked around me in panic, the walls slowly closing in on me, I couldn't breathe anymore. I just wanted to claw my skin out, the feeling of the warm liquid stinging and burning like a wildfire. The weight of everything crashed down on me, the gravity pulling my body down, but the sight of the lifeless body lying there by my feet had me push myself backward as a scream fought its way out of my throat, but it didn't.

It was silent. Scary silent. I couldn't scream...I couldn't breathe...

I shot up from my laying position, panting for my lost breath, drowning in my own sweat, my mind fuzzy and hazy as it tried to pull itself from the depth of my sleep, of my nightmare. My gaze drifted around me, my heart's erratic rate slowly going back to normal. It was a dream, just a dream. I looked down at my hands, no blood, just a dream. My hand in the cast was hurting so bad, the pain meds gradually losing their effect. I tried to move my fingers inside the cast and winced, unable to get myself through the pain.

I took another look around me, the blanket was on the floor, the bed all tussled, the sheets twisted and tied from how much I must've tossed and moved, as the bad dreams of this reality hunted my subconscious. The room was so big and dark, nothing familiar, nothing that reminded me of home. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand to check the time and realized it was still four in the morning. I had many missed calls and messages but my brain was still out of sorts to open them and read.

Noises came from outside, a bit distant, incoherent, and my heart jumped, my fingers tightening over the sheets in pure fear. My first reaction was to be scared and it took me a second to think more logically. Christian is hurt, he is caught, he is not here. I remembered the massive men guarding the mansion, it's almost impossible for anyone to get in. The logic and my brain assured me I am safe, but my heart didn't feel that word just yet.

I pulled into a deep breath and got up to my feet, I wore the slippers Emma gave me and on hesitant steps, I made my way out of the room. I opened the door and looked both right and left, the lights were on but no one was in sight. I walked out, the noises becoming more clear and recognizable. Footsteps got closer as they hurriedly climbed up the stairs and that voice...I could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Dad," I whispered, my lungs felt strangled, and right then, he came into view.

His eyes found mine and for a second, he froze in his spot, "Lilly," He whispered before the worry and the concern broke free over his face. He strode forward, reaching for me and I ran, my legs took me as fast as they could till I came crashing into his arms. They immediately wrapped around me, so protectively he pulled me closer, holding my little body with his big strong one.

"Dad," I sobbed into his chest, clinging to him like I was holding onto life itself, "I am sorry, I am so sorry..."

I felt his hand in my hair, "It's okay, little bug, it's okay," He mumbled, his words breathless as his arm around my back tightened, him needing me as much as I needed him. My eyes pressed shut, fighting the emotional, relieved tears, because finally, I felt safe.