Shattered Hearts ✓

s u c c u m b

s h a t t e r e d h e a r t s

c h a p t e r 7

The Pack Healer had sent my father to take me to the Healer's room. I sit on the bed while she is going around the room to look for something. It gives me the opportunity to look around the room itself. It's not that often that I go into the Healer's room. There are bandages and things to clean wounds and dress them. She has everything in here that anyone can find in a medical bag, she just has it on a grander scale. My father is sitting beside me and holding my hand, to make me feel better I suppose.

It doesn't work as I don't feel any better. Not that I don't want my father to be here nor anything like that. I like having someone here with me. It's just that I don't think that I can feel better any time soon, no matter what. It is going to be my curse of some kind I think. I watch as the Healer goes around the room looking for something. One would think that she would be organized, but it doesn't look like she is that at all. Perhaps just a little as this place is tidy but not exactly really clean.

"What are the changes that this will work?" My father asks her. I look at her as she turns to face him. I don't think that my father can see it on her face, but I can. She doesn't want to answer that, even nervous as well. It's strange to see something that he doesn't see. Or perhaps he can see it but doesn't let it show on him. The Pack Healer clears her throat. "I can't say that, since her Wolf is still alive it does increase the odds of this healing her" She tells him while he nods.

I look at my father's face to see that the words which she said does make him feel better. I suppose no one really wants to think that their child's is not going to make it. Death is inevitable for me, and soon it will come for me. Death it will take me by the hand and take me away from this world. Where I don't know where I will go, but it will take me away. Accepting it is what I have done, and I understand that no one else has done so. It will soon come.

"Will she feel it?" He asks her. My father is calm when he speaks, but I can see on him that he's nervous. He was the same when it was mother's birthday or their anniversary. He was always so nervous when he bought her something, and he did not know if she would like it or not. Though, what he never realized is that she would love anything that he gave her, no matter what it was and no matter how much or little it cost. My father was always nervous, though, even after they were together and loved each other for years.

"There will be some discomfort, but other than that she should not feel much of it" She speaks. She didn't  answer him right away but when she does the answer is really vague. As if she doesn't even believe the words that she is telling herself for some reason. Neither would I for even I know that this is going to be painful and this will hurt more than I can tell. Not that I am going to tell them how I feel for that matter. It will only bring them more ache and I don't need that.

My family and the people that I love would be in pain and that pain will only get worse if they know the pain that I'm in and the agony that I will be in. My father takes my hand, not seeing that moving my body does send these massive spikes up of pure pain. Like this shadow that follows though around and shows up whenever you step into the light. It creeps up on you no matter what you do, and it comes in the most unexpected places and can even frighten some. "It will be all right, my sweet daughter" He says to me.

His voice is soothing and while most of the time I would've loved to listen to it and even fall asleep by his reading voice (which I have done in my childhood), but in this case it makes the heartache inside my chest even worse. For I know that this must be crushing him from the inside. The pain is perhaps not as much as mine, but it is a terrible one. I wish for my father to not feel this sort of pain and I wish that I could do something to help him.