Shattered Hearts ✓

a g i t a t e d

s h a t t e r e d h e a r t s

c h a p t e r 15

The day came much quicker than I had ever thought that it would be, but the day came. Not even an hour ago I was told by the Pack Healer that I would be seeing Sam in five hours. He would be here soon. It's finally happening. And still at the same time I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm terrified to finally meet him. It won't be the same as seeing him on a screen. I know that. I will meet him in real life. He will literally stand in front of me, his physical being will be in the same room as I.

With each passing day that I had to go through, I always wondered how he would think of me. We've spoken very little over the last five days, he's been busy. Something about passing many Packs to make it into this one is quite messy and how he's literally coming here on short notice. Sam has this determination to make it here. I know his life is complicated. I suppose every person in the world has a complicated life. It's just the way that life works and it was always meant to be.

The clock is slowly ticking down time. With each passing second that goes by, I get more anxious to meet him. Because with every second that the clock allows to pass by the world, the closer he is to me. Sam is slowly making it here and I don't know if I should be throwing up or not. I find that my body is sick but at the same time it's overcome with this joy that he's actually going to be here with me. My Mate is coming here to see me and we'll be together at last, after all that pain.

I sit by the window and watch the world out there. Waiting for his car to arrive here. My in line of vision is the only road in and out and it will allow me to see when his car arrives. I don't know if I'm more nervous to meet him or have him meet me. Perhaps a bit of both. "Excited to meet him?" The Pack Healer asks me when she walks over to me. I nod at her. She lets out a laugh. "I'm sure he's just as excited to meet you, you know" She tells me.

She leaves as she had to tend to someone else, I don't care about that. I'm far too busy waiting for Sam. I think the wait of it all is the worst. Because the longer that I wait, the more thoughts come in my head. Some of them are even telling me to hide. That he doesn't and shouldn't want to meet someone like me. That I should just disappear before he comes. That would be better for everyone. And Sam would not have to meet me, even when he's my Mate. I don't deserve someone like him in my life, least of all as a Mate.

He should have someone that is much stronger than I am and someone who's worthy of being his Mate because it sure isn't me. I will never be someone worthy of someone like him. Sam is someone that everyone needs in their life. While, I, on the other hand am not someone that people need. I'm the one that people don't want in their lives. And that is never going to change. Not at all. I will always be the one that people push and throw away from themselves because they don't want me.

I suppose he will just throw me away after he's done with me. That is the biggest fear that I have. Because I've started to feel someone or Sam, more so than I have ever felt for Nik. And if Sam were to throw me away like everyone else has done, then I don't know what I will do. I think that I won't be able to survive any of it. It would be much better if I would not even be alive if he doesn't want me. If Sam, who I know is my Mate doesn't want me, then who does?

My heart speeds up when I see the car roll by. It parks in front of the Pack house and then he exists the car. And I see him. I gulp when I see him. He's real and he's here right there. So close to me and yet so far away at the same time. Sam has arrived and I find that I can't even move from my spot. My body is frozen as I can only stare at him. Having only eyes on this man that is walking to the front doors where he will be invited inside by the Alpha.

Then as he was about to walk inside his head turns and our eyes meet. The eyes that I've looked so many times into through a screen stare at mine. My lips part when the contact is made. Time freezes as our eye stare into each other and I wish that we could look at each other forever. Even from afar, I can see so much within his eyes. So much emotions and yet so little at the same time. Then he breaks the eye contact when someone, which I don't see catches his attention and he walks inside.