Shattered Hearts ✓

r e s t l e s s

s h a t t e r e d h e a r t s

c h a p t e r 16

I barely slept that night. Not because I was in so much pain or because my own sorrow was keeping me away. For the first time in a very long time, it was actually the opposite. I didn't sleep that well because I'm sharing a bed with Sam. It isn't because I'm uncomfortable, but rather because I am. I'm the most comfortable that I've ever been in my life, in fact. Which is why I don't want to sleep. When I'm asleep I travel to another world and I would not be in this one anymore, I don't want that.

Sam is asleep and he's beside me. We aren't touching, but I wish we were. I have this feeling inside me that craves for his touch and that is eager to feel him touch my flesh. I lie beside him and I allow my thoughts to keep me away. If I were to fall asleep, this moment would end. I'm not sure how long he will be with me or if he will be with me, even when I want to be with him forever. I need to make sure that I enjoy every single moment that I have with him.

I lie there, and I wonder how long we will have together. I want that to last forever. He said he wanted to treat me like a Goddess. As soon as those words left his mouth, I had felt so much shock run through me, as I did not understand why someone like him would want to treat someone like me like that. But at the same time I found this happiness like never before. It ran through my blood, and even now I can feel it. It brings something within me that I thought was lost before, but now is there.

I don't even know what those feelings are within me, all I know is that it is there, and somehow it makes me stronger from within. It's strange, and when I'm confused about it, I don't want it to leave. Just like I don't want Sam to leave. I'm going to try to make this work. I want to do right by him and care and love him in the way that he deserves. How can I make that happen? I don't know, my mind at least doesn't know the answers to that question, but somehow my heart knows.

Staying awake, I don't really mind. It makes me realize that I'm with my Mate, and he's actually here. I'm not just living a dream that I'm going to wake up from soon. Sam is here, and I find that I care for him, I don't understand those feelings that I feel only for him, but I know that in my heart they are true, and they are the Mate bond. It is a true bond. Unlike the one that I had with Nik. That bond was odd and strange, and I wonder how he never felt it.

In this bond, both Sam and I are able to feel it. At least, I hope and pray that he feels that very bond that I've started to feel. All of that feels right and correct, like we are meant to be together. I know that we are meant for each other. There is no doubt in my mind that we belong together because we do. I look to my side at Sam to see his sleeping face. He's so calm and collected, and he is just so peaceful. It makes me wonder what he's dreaming about, sort of hoping that he is dreaming about me.

I know for a fact that when I go to sleep that I will be dreaming of him and him only, maybe the two of us together and the future that is ahead of us. The future. It sounds so distant, but at the same time I realize that I'm closer than ever. Actually I'm so close to it that I can almost grab it. I want to be able to reach it with Sam by my side, and I want us to reach for it together. Without even realizing it myself I start to smile.

Somewhere along those lines, sleep somehow overtook me and I welcomed that sleep, even when I wanted to not sleep. I only notice that when I wake up the next morning after getting some rest and after everything that I've been through, and the little sleep that I got, it was actually the best sleep that I've ever gotten in my life. And I think that is because Sam had been with me, and he was in the same bed. I turn my head to look at my side to see that Sam is still asleep. Then I look at the clock that hangs on the wall to see it's only nine in the morning.