Shattered Hearts ✓

i s o l a t i o n

s h a t t e r e d h e a r t s

c h a p t e r 9

If days go by, I don't notice. I've done nothing but lie in bed of the Pack Healer's room. My body can barely move. I don't eat, and they have started to feed me with these tubes. I don't really care about them. All that I care about is nothing. Starting up at the ceiling and dreaming of the things that might have been. The pain that was inside me before is now so numb that I don't feel anything at all. I think I can't even feel anything, no emotions, no pain, just nothing. I'm nothing not but an empty shell of the one that I was.

Every single night and every single day, the only pain that I feel is the one when Nik and my sister sleep together. The pain becomes numb like all the rests, but the mind doesn't. I keep thinking of how they could do this to me. How my own sister could make me feel this way and willingly as well. How she is doing that, I don't know. Despite my sister having taken my Mate away from me, I find that I can't hate her. I can't despise my own sister, she is my sister.

We are bound by blood, for better or worse we are twins. We are connected. In our entire lives we have had to share everything. I suppose she now thinks that she has the right to share and take my Mate away from me. But, it is not just my Mate that she is taking away, but it's her own. That poor soul will soon suffer the same fate as I. Whoever that soul is, we don't know. If he is already dead, I don't know either, but he will suffer the same way that I suffer now or even greater.

For some time now, the Pack Healer as well as my father have been doing all they can to get me to say who my Mate is. His blood is vital for the trial drug to work. My voice is gone, and I don't think that I will ever be able to say his name ever again. Nik as well as Katherine have not come to visit me since the last time I saw them and the time that my own sister told me that Nik was hers and not mine, even when both of us now know that he's my Mate.

She's not going to tell anyone that he's my Mate, then she will lose him. If I know my sister, and I do, then she is not going to do that. She's territorial. Always has been and I think always will be. She's someone that's has always competed with me on everything. I never minded because siblings always fight (a playful one) and we are twins. We are bound to be a bit competitive. Though, for me, it has never been about that, nor about winning. In truth, I was never the one that had the chance to win in the first place.

It always has been Katherine that is the best at everything, she had everything when we were children. The only reason that I let it slide was because I had Nik and I didn't need anything else, all that I needed was my best friend and nothing else. We had each other and to me there was truly nothing else that I wanted nor needed in life. Because I knew that if I had Nik in my life, then I would be happy, and I would be all right. That there was nothing that I could not face.

Now, as I lie here, all I can think about is the past. How Nik and I spent almost every waking moment together. Often do the most ridiculous things and often just being with one another. Nik and I did the most strangest things together, and always we spoke in a manner and acted in ways that no one really understands. Neither one of us cared that people stared at us or what they thought about us. As long as we were one and were together, then it didn't matter to us. All we did was smile at their faces and then grin with a wicked look.

Nik and I would sometimes stay awake, staring at the ceiling of his room, and talk. Sometimes about nothing and sometimes about something. It are those times that I cherish the most and want nothing more than to keep them in my memory and never be able to forget. Because if I were to forget, I would forget the one that I was. When that girl is already gone, holding onto the memory is all that I have left of her. The one that I used to be, the person who was that girl is somewhere else, not lying in this bed at least.