c a l a m i t y

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s h a t t e r e d h e a r t s

c h a p t e r 12

"What is your comfort food?" Sam asks me the next day. The very first thing that he asked after we said our hellos and such. This morning I just woke up ten minutes ago, I had gone to the bathroom to look my best. I don't want him to see me at my worst. Or worse than I've already looked. It was then that I had looked in the mirror after some days. My face has sunken a lot and under my eyes are dark bags. My eyes however look dead, and my hair is as messy as messy can get.

I had tried to clean my face and at least make me look less dead, it didn't work that well. The most that I was able to do was wash the dried tears off my face and brush my hair. More I could not do. I just hope that he doesn't see a dead person walking. While I've never seen The Walking Dead, I know that I must look like someone in that show. I shrug at his question. "Cake" I answer, and he gives me a smile. "Mine too" He says with excitement. Really? His comfort food is cake as well.

That is rather strange but then again I have started to see that Sam is a bit strange but at the same time he's an amazing guy. And one that is able to make my heart beat faster. The heart within my chest that is slowly dying, but now it wants to be alive. Just by hearing his voice, I feel within my chest as well as my entire body that I want to stay alive. Somehow without even knowing it Sam is able to give me hope. The very hope that once I thought was gone forever.

"I love chocolate cake with whipped cream and fresh strawberries" I say and his smile widens. "I do too, but do you know what will make that kind of cake even better?" He asks me. I think about it for a minute before I shake my head. I don't know how to make it better, since chocolate cake along with whipped cream and fresh strawberries are perfect as it is. I have no idea what else could be added it to it. "Sharing it with the most beautiful girl" He speaks, and I find my heart melting, for I know he means me.

It doesn't make much to figure out. We might be talking via Skype, but that doesn't stop me from taking a look around him. To see that there are no feminine products or anything in his house. There aren't even coats or shoes that a woman would wear. It shows that he doesn't have a girlfriend, and neither did I expect it since his Mate rejected him not that long ago. He isn't that happy to be with someone else. Though, I would wish to be with him, who wouldn't? Sam is the most amazing guy.

I may not have known him for a very long time and I can't really explain it, but I feel as though my hearty has begun to feel this attraction to him. Something that I've only felt with Nik, but Sam is different. These feelings within me are new, and I can't understand them, that doesn't mean that I don't want them because I do. Though, it was a guess that he had called me beautiful. It doesn't stop the warmth that I feel inside my cheeks when he had said those words. He actually called me beautiful. He actually believes me to be beautiful.

I look down at my hands and fidget with my fingers, feeling all of a sudden nervous to be around him. I don't say it, but I do wish that he were here with me, actually here and not in Paris which is so far away. "Have you ever tried to paint?" Sam asks me, after a moment or two has passed by the world. I look up at him and deep inside his eyes, which I've become to love. "No" I softly say. I've never actually cared much about that, and never truly appreciated it.

Until now that I realize that art is actually something that is deeper than I ever realized. "I suggest that you pick up a paper and pencil and just draw the things inside your head, to let your feelings out. It doesn't matter what it is nor how muddled it become. If you can see it, then that is all that matters. Wait here, I wish to show you something" He tells me. He doesn't give me a second to respond until he has stood up from the couch that he was sitting in and going somewhere else.

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