Dream SMP Oneshots - mostly Sleepybois angst

Expectations. pt 4

Trigger warning: eating disorder, panic attack, suicide attempt, implied self harm

You know its gonna be an interesting chapter when those are the triggers...

And this was written after I finished my own mental breakdown, so it's pretty much a vent fic :] Enjoy ig

Technoblade's POV:

I picked at my food, not wanting to touch it.

"Stop playing with your food Techno and eat."
"Not in the mood." I grumbled back.

I don't know why, but something had me feeling like crap once again. Nothing bad had really happened, but still, I just felt like complete shit for no reason.

"Don't talk back to me like that." Phil looked up, putting the fork down.

I knew he wasn't going to start a proper fight right now, as Prince Dream was here, but I knew I had 'crossed the line' as he'd say.

I rolled my eyes, and unfortunately for me, Phil saw.

"I saw that Technoblade Minecraft."

He stared at me angrily from across the table. Dream was shuffling, clearly uncomfortable, in his seat. I felt bad for him being there for one of our arguments. Tommy and Wil don't notice, they're too oblivious.

I got out of my seat and walked out the dining hall, glad to have an excuse to escape eating.

"Come back here this instant!" Phil called back.

I ignored him and ran to my room. I locked the door.

A while back, I managed to convince one of the servants to install a lock on my door, but I couldn't for the life of me remember his name right now. I think it was Quack... Quack something, I didn't really like him at first, he was annoying and still is. But I figured I might as well try talking to him, and we kinda bonded. He seems to be close to Tommy I noticed.

I flopped face first onto my bed and just screamed into my pillow.

I sat up, after practically screaming my lungs out, leaving my throat incredibly sore.

"Why does my life suck so bad? How is it fair. Why do I deserve this?"

I backed into the furthest corner of my room and slid down the wall. I hugged my arms and looked up, eyes shut tight.

"Fucking useless piece of shit- I do deserve this, what am I saying."

I smashed my head backwards, into the wall.

"Why do I even stick around here?"

I smashed my head into the wall again, harder.

"I'm just a waste of space. I don't deserve this position, or power. Besides, I'm a freak."

I smashed my head into the wall again and again, the thoughts flashing through my mind getting worse.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

I picked myself up off the ground and pulled the box with my clothes out. I changed in a rush, eager to leave quickly. Slipping the cloak on, I scrawled note and slammed it onto my desk.

I wobbled to the window, feeling off balanced. No surprise as I hit my head. Multiple times.

I scaled down the wall, not caring if I fell, and hopped over the unguarded wall.

Dream's POV:

Shortly after Techno left, I had a sorta bad feeling. Everyone fights. Even my sister and I! But there was something off with Techno.