The Hookup With Mr. Badboy

My Past Present Future (12)

Chris

Watching her retreating form made me realize what a bitchy move I had done. I tried to go after her, but it felt like my feet were glued to the ground. When I could move my legs, it felt weak and numb. They were shaking and I couldn't stand up straight.

What have I done? She was everything to me, she completed me, and I ruined every chance of it happening again. Why the hell am I such an idiot?

I searched everywhere for her at the school. By now, I would do anything to have her forgive me, I'll even get down on all four and beg. But, even my heart knew it wasn't going to fix anything. After hours of searching, I gave up knowing that she already left the school's premises.

As soon as school was over, I drove as fast as I could back to my home. I went up to ninety miles per hour on a thirty five road. It was most likely that she was already gone, but I held unto the little hope I had left. I put my car into the driveway and parked.

When I got out, I rushed into the mansion to the guest room. It was locked, I didn't know if I should feel relieved or upset. I banged on the door repeatedly until she finally opened the door with a suitcase. My heart hammered against my rib cage.

"Please Alex, don't leave me. I don't know what I'll do. Just please. Stay with me." My voice sounded broken and staggered as I exhaled each breath scared if she would actually leave me.

"Sorry. I have to." She whispered and walked off. I only wished that I was dreaming until I heard the front door open and close. It was final, she was leaving. I rested my head on the door as I slid down.

I pulled my legs up to my chest as I let my elbows rest on my knees. I had my hands on the sides of my head as I looked up holding the tears in my closed eyes. I don't know how long I stayed in that position, but I stayed there long enough for my parents to come home and find me in that same postion. They usually came home at ten, and I came home at around three, so I probably stayed there for seven hours.

I couldn't do anything to help my current situation. All I could do was pity and guilt myself as to why she left. My mom pulled me up and helped me walk to my room knowing I couldn't even will myself to walk.

As I layed on my bed, her scent lingered on the pillows and blankets. An image of all our moments flashed through my head. By then, I couldn't hold it back. I let out the sobs and tears echoing throughout the room, maybe even the whole mansion.

My mom watched me as I cried my eyes out. I never felt so broken and vulnerable. She came up to me and rubbed my arms comfortingly, but it didn't help. The simple gesture only reminded me more of Alex, she would always run her hands on my arms trying to soothe me whenever I felt down. More sobs escaped as I thought more of Alex.

My mom pulled me into a hug and rubbed my head whispering sweet things into my ears. I felt like a hormonal teenage girl. After I calmed down, she pulled back and stared into my eyes. Hers had a look of sadness and need to comfort me.

"I heard what happened. You shouldn't have done that, but I can't be mad at you. Everything will be better I promise." She kissed my forehead and walked off. My mind knew those last words were a lie, even my heart agreed. I drank and drank bottles of alcohol of every kind, jack daniels, vodka, whiskey, beer, and everything you could name.

That became my everyday routine. Go to school, drink, drink, drink, and then go to sleep. I had been miserable. Even though it was all my fault, I knew I couldn't help but hear my heart tear. I missed her, and it was all my fault for letting her go. I hated myself for that. Seeing happy couples around didn't help me. Whenever I went to school, I would act and pretend that I was okay. I would laugh at things that weren't really funny.