Unscripted love

37. The truth In Your Face

28 December 2018

Demet

Lost in my thoughts, letting my mind wander, I absentmindedly watch the shy flakes twirling around us. Autumn is giving way to my least favorite season...winter. It's still tentative but the cold wind and icy sky don't deceive.

Volkan is singing at the wheel next to me, happy to share this evening alone with his little sister.

He has come to pick me up at the clinic where Can will have his eyes operated on first thing in the morning. He's been suffering for weeks, so he waited for the break just before the new year so as not to disrupt the shooting.

We're in the middle of preparations for the New Year's Eve party at my house with few close friends and family members.

Today, just before he went into hospital, we had lunch with Guldem and some of her friends in the restaurant of the caterer who will be cooking for our New Year's Eve party. Can was admitted to the clinic at 4pm and I just left him, treating myself to a night out at my brother's place. It's been a while since this happened, I miss my nephew and sister-in-law...I spend so much time on the sets and with Can...

I turn to my brother and smile.

"Are you worried?"

"About Can? Oh...a bit, the eyes are always a bit scary but he's very confident, after a few days he should never have this kind of worry again..."

"When is he coming out?"

"Normally tomorrow at the end of the day if everything goes well."

"Cool. And how are you two doing? Pretty good, I think? I mean, you guys spend a lot of time together off set..."

"We're just friends and more when we feel like it..."

He coughs, his big incredulous eyes turn to me and question me with his gaze as if he needed me to reassure him, thinking maybe he misunderstood.

"What?"

"What, what?"

"Demet! Are you kidding me? Are you putting me on?"

"I assure you I'm not. I'm very serious."

"What do you mean? More when you want to?"

"Do you really want me to explain in detail what that means, Volkan?"

He shakes his head negatively. I think I shocked him for a little while.

"Really, Demet, I can't believe my ears. If I didn't know Can I'd want to smash his face in..."

I let him digest the news for a moment, the cabin falls into silence as he activates the automatic gate.

But his disbelief is stronger.

"Seriously, why? Why aren't we really together? It's not like there's no love between you...you both love each other!"

I sigh, I feel like if I want him to understand I'll have to tell him everything.

So I start to unpack the whole story, at least from where he left off...our break-up, our inability to stay away, our lack of communication, the misunderstandings and finally the fact that I told him the darker side of our family history.

He remains silent, attentive to my words, and I think I can see the astonishment in his eyes.

"There's something wrong with all this..."