14. Something to breathe...

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August 2018

Demet

We have just finished shooting episode 9.

We have a few days of rest. At last. I was desperate to take a breather. We have been working so hard these last few weeks. I am enjoying my first day off with Beste, my best friend. A relaxing moment at the spa, to get a beauty treatment before having fun. Because tonight the production is giving a small party in a private place. Everyone is invited. The series is an unexpected hit and everyone is on cloud nine, I can't believe it myself. This series, which was supposed to be a fresh little interlude between two big projects, is now turning into a phenomenon. Even abroad, the welcome it has received is quite unexpected. Moreover, the production is thinking about making the adventure last.

Lost in my daydreams, Beste interrupts me.

« So? What's the news? It's been a long time since we've both chatted »

« Oh you know my life is very quiet...I've had so much work these last few weeks... »

« And what about your love life ? You know that's all I'm interested in... »

We both laugh. It's been a while since I've taken the time to talk to her. I'm so tired in the evenings after the set that having a conversation with Beste is way beyond my strength.

We settle down in the massage room, an hour of pure relaxation in front of us but also an hour where she is going to pull my nose!

« you don't let go of anything »

« and no! So Seckin? »

« So nothing new... ups and downs... »

« What's wrong with you two? »

« We should already see each other... »

« You haven't seen each other all summer ? »

« Yes, two weeks ago, he did a quick one-day stopover, he came to see me on the film set... it was very nice of him... »

« But? »

« But nothing, I just don't know where our relationship goes...before the summer I used to see myself getting involved with him, settling down and now...I feel like I don't want anything... »

« nothing at all or nothing with him? »

As always, she hits exactly where she needs to. It's like my inner voice. It's there to force me to take stock of myself, to look in the face of what is obvious but which I avoid.

« What are you going to imagine? »

« Me? Oh nothing at all but I know you better than you know yourself...I know there's something else...or rather someone else... »

« I don't need anyone else in my life to realize that with Seckin it's not going well anymore... »

Feeling that I am becoming more irritable she doesn't insist. We spend the rest of our hour massaging almost silently and I end up falling asleep. I'm not a heavy sleeper but the last few weeks have drained all my energy.

We end our girls' afternoon with an hour of shopping and I buy myself two beautiful cocktail dresses, one of which I am very much looking forward to wearing tonight.

I want to be pretty, different, irresistible.

***


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