Unscripted love

43. Lebanon

April 2019

Demet

This is my first trip outside Turkey. I'm eager, excited but also a bit anxious. I'm not a great adventurer and I must admit, without Can by my side I don't know if I would have tried. Sometimes it scares me to see how dependent I've become on him, the lonely party girl who didn't trust love and even less so in men. But he was able, wonderfully, to prove to me that sometimes you have to take risks, that not everything is written in advance.

Can is sleeping peacefully next to me, his head bobbing from my shoulders to the edge of the seat. He looks tired and we've planned a few days of heavenly holiday in a few weeks if the break from filming goes well. The destination remains a surprise, the umpteenth present from the wonderful birthday he gave me.

He turned this day of the year, a mundane day for so many, into an exceptional, unforgettable, magical day. My wonderment began with a party the evening before with our friends and some colleagues in my flat where he took care of everything, even going so far as to order a cake with a pretty, innocent Sanem in her white dress and flower crown...

Only him could think of such details...

In the early morning, tired from my short night, I discovered my caravan fully decorated with flowers, red and white roses, poems and references to our special love story.

No man has ever been so attentive to me, I've had very romantic boyfriends before but with Can everything takes on a different, imposing, transcendent dimension. I feel dizzy.

At the end of the afternoon we celebrated with the cast, allowing ourselves a few "official" shots for the social networks and...the evening with my family, my core group of which Can is now a part. For that, he's the one and only one who has already shared these private moments. He was already getting along with my brother and my nephew, but today, even my sister and my mother have let their guard down, conquered by his charm.

That night, in my flat still in disarray from the previous night's party, we made wild love, almost like animals wanting to claim each other. I felt myself raging with love for him, unable to control my overflow of desire, possessed by this violent need for us to belong to each other. Once our impatient bodies had calmed down, we fell asleep, satisfied and happy.

In the morning, in front of my breakfast tray served in bed, an envelope with a raffia tie around it lay before my glass of orange juice. I smiled mischievously at him, like a child eager to unwrap her present.

"What is it?"

"Open it, you'll soon know..."

My eyes devour the letters of his beautiful handwriting on the parchment paper.

"Let the sea spray tickle your nostrils, the warm white sand slide under your feet while the surf rocks our embrace..."

My voice is gone. Tears well up in my eyes and I can't control them. Can comes up to me, wraps his hands around my face to contain my silent sobs and kisses me. I'm so happy at this moment, the emotion is too strong. His soft, sweet lips whet my appetite and, forgetting my hunger and the timing, I swivel the tray on the floor before throwing myself at him. Today is definitely not the day we'll be on time.

Since then, we've been living our fairy tale, rarely getting annoyed, enjoying every quiet moment between two rounds of paparazzi questions. The days of filming remain exhausting, depriving us of many freedoms. But our primary freedom is that it's this series, this work that has brought us together as colleagues and more with affinity.

However, I still sometimes have these anxious awakenings in the middle of the night. When my thoughts go crazy and they try to impose this negative vision on me, that of a relationship that will be doomed to failure anyway.