Max is five years old and between his baby sister crying and his older brother getting him into trouble, there isn't much fun to be had.
*WARNING - SPANKING*
My name is Max and I am five years old! That means I can do lots of new things. I know lots of new things too, like how to tie a tie for my school uniform. I live in something called a "council house" in England, which is basically a house the government owns but we get to live there if we pay them rent. I live with my mum and dad, whose names are Sally and Bill. I have a brother too, he's eleven, and a new sister! She doesn't count though, since all she can do is cry and lie there. Maybe she'll learn how to do enough things to count.
Right now, I'm sitting in the school office waiting on my mum or dad to come and get me. I swing my legs, staring at my skinned knee below the hem of my scratchy blue school shorts. My mum and dad are going to be so angry with me. Maybe they won't come to get me, and just leave me here!
"Hi! We're here for Max?" Mum's voice. She and Dad must both be here. The office lady calls me out and I walk out to the front of the office. When I get to the door, my parents are waiting. I look down at the floor and play with my hands.
"Max, what do we hear about you hitting Kerryanne?"
"It was Chris!" Chris is my brother, he's always giving me advice, but sometimes that advice gets me into trouble. "She hit me first and Chris says that if anyone hits me, I've to hit back twice as hard!"
"Of course he did," Mum sighs.
Dad tells the teacher that this won't happen again and leads me out the school with his hand on my shoulder. When he get out, he smacks me over my trousers.
"Owie!" My hands shoot back.
"You're a big boy now, Max," he grabs my hand and start leading me towards the car. "You can't be hitting people and getting away with it!"
"But Chris told me-!"
"If he told you to jump off a bridge, would you?"
That's Dad's go-to question.
"No..."
When we get to the car, Dad smacks me twice more, hard. I sit in my car seat beside my baby sister. She looks up at me with eyes that are too big for her head. They kinda make her look like a bug.
When we get home, mum leads me straight to my room. "You can go straight to bed,"
She dresses me in my Minecraft jammies. "Do you have any homework?"
"No Mum,"
"Then I'll come and get you for dinner. You can sit up here and think about what you did,"
"Y-yes Mum." I climb slowly into my bed. It's tall, off the ground, like a top bunk. But there's no bottom bunk, it's just a big space for my drawers. I rub my bum, it tingles when I lie down because of Dad's smacks.
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I can hear Mum when Chris gets home from playing with his friends after school. "Oh look who's back,"
"Chris, have you been telling Max to hit people back again?"
"No,"
I flinch when I hear a slap, it echoes from downstairs.
"Well what's he supposed to do if someone hits him?" Chris asks.
"Tell his teacher!"
Chris scoffs. "Like a bloody tattler,"
Slap!
I grab my stuffed bear and cuddle him. His name is Bexley. When I have a son someday, I'm going to name him Bexley.
Everyone outside goes downstairs and I stay curled up in bed for a while, studying the patterns of my Thomas the Tank wallpaper.
After a while, Mum knocks on my door. "Max, you can come downstairs now,"
I follow her downstairs to the living room where the TV is on. My dinner is dinosaur turkey nuggets! I love these. And cucumber with lettuce. I don't mind eating my vegetables, Chris doesn't like them. He's sitting on the other couch on his phone. He occasionally picks at his chicken in breadcrumbs.
This is going to be a good dinner! I eat hastily while The Simpsons play on the TV. I'm allowed to watch rude shows.
"Max," dad says during the adverts. I turn to him.
"You're grounded this weekend, but if you're on your best behaviour you can still go to sea world on Sunday,"
I pout. "Okay dad," The nuggets aren't as nice anymore. Being grounded is crap! Homer uses that word.
It means I'm not allowed to play football with my friends (this book is in the Uk, we call soccer football) have dessert or go out on my skateboard. All I can do is sit inside and watch YouTube, and that's super boring.
"Chris," Mum continues. "You're grounded for the month,"
"Mum!"
"Nope. I want your iPad and your Xbox controller,"
"Dad!" He whines.
"No, Chris,"
He sits back and folds his arms. He's so mean when he doesn't get to go on his phone or play on the Playstation. Our grounding is different cause I like to play outside and Chris only likes to play Playstation games.
My sister starts screaming and Mum goes to tend to her. She doesn't have many features yet, but I think she's going to look like Mum, with dark hair and dark skin. Chris looks like her too. I look more like dad, skinny and small and my hair is long and brown. But I have ight skin, and people never know Mum is my Mum or Chris is my brother because we look so different.
"Fine," Chris leans over to give his phone to Dad. When he's finished eating, he storms up to his room.
"Dad?" I ask.
"Yeah?"
"Can I give Mum a hug?" Her giving Chris and I into trouble upset me a bit. I want her hugs, hers are the best.
"Oh I'm sorry Max. She's with the baby,"
She's always with the baby now. I used to be the baby! Dad senses my frustration and pulls me over so I'm sitting on his lap.
"I'm sorry you're upset Max," he rubs my back. "Be good, okay? Then we get to go to sea world,"
