Not Having Fun

34

I sit in the park with Jemima. We're on opposite sides of the big round swing. "Are you comin' to my house on Saturday?" She asks.

"No," I pull the velcro on my shoes. It makes a funny rip noise. "I'm grounded this weekend,"

"Awwww why?!"

"Chris ate my ice cream so I kicked him! So now I'm grounded,"

"That's not fair he stole your ice cream!" There's a reason Jemima is my best friend. She gets it. "You should get revenge,"

Revenge? That's a good idea. Chris has been getting me into trouble forever! So I'll try to get him into trouble this time! Maybe then he'll leave me alone.

So Jemima and I hatch a plan.

I'm going to grab some of Dad's drinks that isn't for me and put it in Chris' room! We know we aren't allowed to touch those and that they aren't for us. If Chris had one... he's get his butt tanned! That's right, I said butt. I can say that now, because I say so.

After dinner, I ask Mum if I can get some chocolate from the fridge. She says yes and I run into the kitchen and open the fridge. Six bottles of Dad's juice are in some weird cardboard box that they all stick out the top of. I start pulling one out.

Glass is heavy and it makes a weird noise, clinking and clanking.

"Max? What're you doing in there?"

"Nothing, Mum!" I stuff the bottle into my pants and run back in.

"Well, I'm going to work. I'm on the nightshift," she kisses me on the forehead. She doesn't know I have the bottle! I guess parents don't really have mind reading powers. Chris was wrong about that too. He deserves revenge!

When Mum goes out and I hear the door lock, I run up to Chris' bedroom. "I'm hungry!"

"Mum just left, Jesus," Chris keeps playing on his phone.

"If you don't make me food I'll tell them you got DeathLoop!" That's a grownup game and if Mum and Dad found out he'd be in big trouble.

"What?! How'd you know I got that?!"

"I just do!" I snooped in his room after school before he came in. I saw the big 18 sign on it. He's not meant to have it.

"Alright, what d'you want?" He slowly gets out of bed and throws his phone down on the pillow.

I shrug. "Pizza!"

"I'll see if we've got any," he pushes past me on the way down.

When he's gone, I hide the bottle under his bed.

"Oi, get down here!"

I run out to the stairs where Chris is. "You know you're not allowed in my room without me!" He slaps me in the back of the head.

"Ow! I know!" I run my head. I'll have my revenge soon...

Bills POV

I get home from the shops and the first thing I do is go to the kitchen to put them away. When I open the fridge, I see that my one of my beer bottles has been ripped out the box. That's weird, I barely ever drink. Maybe Sally had one? I look around the entire kitchen and can't find the bottle. An awful feeling dawns on me.

He hasn't, has he?! I run right upstairs and barge into Chris' room. He's sitting on his bed playing with his phone. I rip it out his hands.

"Hey, what the fuck man!"

"Don't say that to me. Where's the bottle from the fridge?"

"What bottle?" He sits up. He doesn't seem guilty, he's not fighting me. Maybe I'm being stupid and he didn't do it.

"I'm sorry, I need to search your room alright?" I feel really bad about this. I never want to invade his privacy! But he's twelve and it's my duty to protect him if he's been drinking.

I look around, and every second I don't see a bottle is a second of relief. Chris is just watching me. He didn't do it, I was right to believe him.

The last paled to check is under his bed. I pull up the covers off the side. It's right there.

"Chris..."

"Dad, I swear I didn't!"

I can't listen to him right now. I can't believe he would do this!

"Drinking, Chris? You're twelve years old!" I slam the bottle down on his bedside table. Bend over that bed right now!"

He started crying, repeating that he didn't take it. I almost believe him.

"Get over the bed or I swear I'll tan your arse with my belt!" I'm so angry with him, he knows not to drink!

He bends over the bed. I don't want to belt him, he's already upset. "Stay here," I go downstairs to the kitchen.

There's a wooden spoon in the drawer.  I pick that as my tool of choice and go back upstairs. Chris is crying harder, and I feel bad.

"You're getting a spanking and then we can talk about it," I promise him.

I stand up and place my hand on his back.

WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

"Are you ever, ever going to steal alcohol from the kitchen again?!"

WHACK WHACK

"No Dad!"

WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

He cries harder, red blotches appear on his bottom and he's starting to kick his legs.

WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK.

I finish on seven, because that beer is seven percent alcohol. If he wants to drink alcohol like an adult, then he can take the consequences like an adult.

He continues to cry once I've stopped. "There, son. It's all over now," I run his back. I'm supposed to be angry at him but I'm just... not.

When Sally gets home, I tell her what happened. The next morning, at the breakfast table, she grabs Chris by his school shirt collar.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

"Don't ever let your father catch you drinking again!"

SMACK

She spanks him, and I'm impressed. Sally doesn't usually spank the boys. It's important that I'm not the only one punishing them.

Chris sits sullenly in the chair.

"Where'd he get the drink?" Sally asks.

"He stole it from the fridge yesterday,"

Sally frowns. "I heard max rummaging around in the fridge last night,"

It takes me a minute to figure out what must have happened. I turn to look at Max. The guilt on his face says it all.

Again, I should be furious with Max! But all I wonder is how I'm going to make it up to Chris.