Not Having Fun

006

"I don't see why I have to watch him!" Chris shouts at Mum as she scrambles to get ready for work.

"It might be an inservice day for the school, but I still have to go to work," Mum tells him. She grabs the baby's carry-basket by its handle. The baby stays in a nursery all day while Mum is at work. "And you're grounded anyway. Just stick a video on for him and you can do what you want,"

"Mum, I have better things to do than be responsible for him!"

Mum sighs. "Alright Chris. If you do this and don't cause any problems, you can have your phone back,"

"Yes!" He jumps and punches the air, making me giggle.

"Thank you," there's little relief in her voice. She kisses me goodbye cause Chris doesn't let her anymore. "Be good Max. Chris is in charge,"

The last thing I see before she leaves is a half-hearted wave.

There's silence for a few moments. Chris doesn't move. I squirm a little. "Do you wanna play hide an' seek?"

"No, you little baby," he scoffs. "Just stay out of my way and don't cause any trouble. I'm getting my phone back and you're not fucking that up for me. Deal?"

I nod silently. Fucking? I know fuck is a bad word. Dad belted Chris the last time he said it to Mum. But fucking? That's a long word and long words sound smarter than short words. So fucking must be a smarter, grownup word.

Chris puts a DVD on and retreats upstairs to his room. "You're supposed to be watching me!" I remind him.

"Mum said I could do what I wanted,"

"She also said you hafta keep me out of trouble!"

"Then stay out of-"

I'm already running off into the kitchen. He doesn't wanna play hide and seek? Well... screw him! I'll just make him play with me.

I hide under the kitchen table. The footsteps circle me slowly. I can see his scuffed shoes between the gap.

"Come out now or you won't like it!" He threatens me. I'm not scared of him!... totally not.

The footsteps disappear and suddenly, I feel him grab my ankle and drag me out from under the table. "Hey!" I kick and squeal.

"You're so annoying! Why don't you just shut up!"

"Fucking!" I point up at him. He stops.

"Huh?"

"Fucking!" I say smugly, showing him I know just as many big words at him. His grip loosens and I run off once again.

"Max!" I laugh while he curses and chases me around the house. "Get back here now!"

I turn back to look at him. "Fucking fucking fucking!" I laughs , but before I can turn back I crash into someone's leg.

"Ouch," I pull back and rub my now red nose.

"What did I just hear you say Max?"

I freeze and look up. "H-Hi mum,",

"Mum," Chris pants, catching up to us. "Wh-What're you doing back?"

"I took today off because it was inservice. I planned to take you to London Zoo," she places her hands on her hips. "I can see that won't be happening,"

We exchange a somber look. "I thought I told you both to keep out of trouble,"

"I-I can explain-" Chris begins, but mum cuts him off.

"Oh? Can you explain where Max heard that word?"

Chris's falls silent.

"Max, get in the naughty corner right now young man,"

I run to the naughty corner at the end of the living room. It's in a little dark alcove between the TV and the wall, and the stool I have to sit on is super uncomfy.

I hear mum slap Chris over his jeans.

"What did you think you were doing?!" She scolded. "Saying those words in front of your brother!" 

"I didn't think he'd absorb it!"

"He's five. He absorbs everything Chris!" She sighs. "I thought you were more responsible than this,"

Oooh, he's getting a lecture from mum! That's the worst.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll be more responsible, I promise! Just please don't spank me,"

"I'm sorry Chris," she sighs. "This is serious. Your brother could have gotten hurt and you swore in front of him!"

SLAP

She slaps him over his jeans again, then I hear her pulling them off. "Bend over the couch,"

I hear mum spank him with something. Her hairbrush from her work bag maybe? That stings a lot! I've only been spanked with the hairbrush once and it wasn't fun. 

"Im sorry Mum!" I hear him cry. 

"Will you use that word ever again?"  His cries get louder.

"N-No mum!"

The spanking stops. "Get upstairs right now, I don't want to hear a sound until lunchtime!"

Chris runs upstairs. It'd be pretty funny if I wasn't sitting in the corner waiting on a lecture too.

"Max, you're in trouble too young man," mum comes over and picks me out of timeout. "You don't say that word,"

"Am I gonna get a spankin'?"

"Not this time because you haven't used naughty words before," I sigh in relief. "But this is your first and only warning mister. Next time you won't sit for a week,"

My hands shoot to my bum instinctively. I'm never saying the f-ing word again.