I Want To Unlove You

chapter 13

Geetha's pov:

So here I am...

Looking at the sky and cursing over my fate.

You must be wondering what wonderful things happened in my life that I came to this stage.

Actually even when my parents were strict I didn't have much freedom in my life I was sad but not unbearably sad.
Because I had always believed that I can do better than this.
I thought if I am strong willed and we'll determined I can change my fate.
I thought I will be happy then...

But now looking at how fate may laugh over my life as if it's a joke all along.
I am feeling suffocating.
May be I should have been strong headed rather than doing this ...but I can't help but doing this.
And I am cent percent dilute that I would be doing the same thing all over again if I am again given the choice to choose.

This will be my choice...I love love it to be the only option for me to...because all that matters to me is I had him.

But as I said my life isn't easy...and I know very clearly that we are not meant to be together.
It's just my wishful thinking which will never come true in real life.
Even then I am ready to do anything for having him in my life ...
But the thing is I can't do anything.

Anything at all...

I know I will love him all over again if I am going back in time.
Who doesn't he is such a sweetheart.
It would have be nice if only he was my sweetheart...but it ain't possible.

If you guys are confused over what the hell I am talking about let me make it clear to you.
You guys may think that Geetha have hlgone crazy finally...
But I am not. I am still well and fine to feel all the pain.
How I wish I could go numb from this pain...

It's not like I am lifting the weight of the whole town on my shoulders.
It's just I feel my heart ache...
I would have like it if it was a physical pain rather than this.

So where am I???
Oh yes... I was describing how pitiful I am right...
I don't deny it.

How pitiful is it if we have a one that we love when we very well know that we cannot be together??

First let me fill you with all the things happened in the past 7 months.

Yeah...it's been nearly seven months from the day we danced.
We were so close that no one could separate us.
If only this was truth in real life too...
May be I would've been floating over the clouds.

Now only Swapna and Akki are staying with me in the dorms.
Sadhvi moved out with jeeju. I so wanted to stop her but I can't meddle with her...she is finally happy now after years of suffering the unjust from her brother and her parents partly too.
I wish she was with me here...to share my thoughts,to share my feelings,to share my sadness.
But then I also don't want to run my sadness off Sadhvi. If I say anything I am sure as hell that she will do anything to make me happy. The thing is we can't do anything it this case. Nothing other than crying over my fate.

Swapna and Akki were busy with their own lives...they had their own personal life and I didn't want to make it difficult for them by saying all these things to them.
It will be hard for them too.

I just hope the time passes quickly and my pain pass too.

I was him many times in these past months.
'He is already in my thoughts every second, why is he appearing in front of me???' I wanted to shout it out and vent my feelings.
But I am now habituated to the 'silent me' . I would have laughed if anyone said that I would be like this...this lost like I am currently.