I Want To Unlove You

chapter 30

Geetha's pov :

Days goes on....

Yeah they goes one , but why don't the pain go away????

I wonder if it ever goes away....or will I just love like this???
Getting habituated with this pain,which made my heart ache whenever I thought about him....
Or may be in the future this pain will be within me....becoming a part of me had to say a crucial part.

Will I ever get to live a normal life????

Why god is so biased for me??? Can't he just give me my love back?

The love....which I destroyed with my own doings and the love for which I am craving ever since I had fallen head over heels for him.

I had a tiny weeny hope that may be my love won't be a failure at last.....but even that was crumpled brutally under the shoes of my fate.

I couldn't do anything but surrender to the fate....I still regret not fighting for my love but it's not like I had any other choice.

Adi is a nice person....but I can't say that my dad will be if he gets to know about Adi.

I will die before I bring any harm to Adi.
Even now I am sure that I would have regretted that the most compared to the regret I am feeling now.

When I rejected I already knew that these feelings which made me feel all the overwhelming emotions that I have never experienced in my life will last for sometime....may be six months or something.
After that I have believed that I may not love him as much as I loved before.

Yet as if being splashed with a bucket of cold water I now realise that they are damn strong that never fade away.

After the whole thing I tried to avoid him as much as possible.
But it looks like even he avoided me.
The only place I could see him was hospital.

I said to myself that I saw him accidentally not the fault of my eyes which were striving to see him for once.

But I did that when no one was paying attention to me , while others are concentrating on the casesheets.

But he clearly avoided me. Whenever he saw me he just turned away and talk with his patients otherwise he will just walk away....

He is doing whatever I have hoped.

But why is my heart not accepting this???why does this pain so much??

May be I wished that he would comeback to me even when I reject him, pursue me,try to convince me.
But none of that happened.
Should I be thankful of that????

First of all is he doing well???
I wanted to ask his well-being but I had no one...as I haven't explained the thing happened between us to anyone. Not even Sadhvi.

So I was just struggling within while having a dazzling smile on my face.

But he doesn't look too good , not as cheerful as before and once I heard when Akki was on call that he stopped talking day offs and even shifted back to home.

I felt a little bit guilty when I heard that
Is he doing all this to avoid me???
After I know about that even I tried to not come to his eyesight as much as possible...until and unless I have the posting of his department I wasn't going to that wards.

My whole world became so dull as if someone forcefully snached all the colours in it....

But as I said before days passed quickly.

Or was I busy in sulking that I didn't realise how time flies???

So where was i???
Yeah...
So it's been one and half year already.