Part 1.2

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Big Boss watches me from behind his spectacles. His expression is unreadable. "The diagnosis," he says, "was warts. Caused by an acanthine bite." He's leafing through my notes, but he's doing it slowly, as if he's biding time.

I'm fiddling with my hair pin. I've harassed the accursed thing so much I wouldn't be surprised if the silver fell right off it. "I prescribed wart medicine. I gave her very clear instructions."

Big Boss lingers on a page. He runs a finger over the writing. "Lily...tell me, what colour is wart medicine?"

"Yellow," I say promptly.

He finally looks up at me. I still can't read what's in his eyes. He reaches into his desk and pulls out a vial. He sets the vial in front of me and watches my face. The liquid inside is a sickly pink.

"That's not the medicine I gave Mrs Toebuck."

He rolls the vial over in his hands. "Is this your prescription label? That's your signature, no?"

It's my prescription label. It's my signature. And this can't be happening.

"I..." I don't know what to say. That potion was yellow when I gave it to her. I swear it was yellow. "She must have...poured something else in. What I gave her was yellow."

"She doesn't remember what colour it was when you gave it to her. When she took her dose it was pink."

I'm panicking now. "I don't know what she took or how she got it, but it's not what I gave her."

"Did you add the aloe? It's easy to forget."

"Yes."

"After the mint? And you only used 3 carats of fire quartz? You didn't add anything else?"

"No! I mean, yes!"

"Can anyone verify this?"

I deflate. My head goes into my hands. "No," I whisper.

There's a silence.

Big Boss runs a hand through his hair. "Mrs Toebuck will recover. We have senior witch doctors at her bedside. The swelling in her face has gone down, but her limbs are still affected. As for...the rest of it. You've left me no choice, Lily." He looks directly into my eyes. "You are suspended from duties, effective immediately."

*

"We'll get you reinstated," Addy is adamant. "You'll breeze through the training course with us by your side."

I shake my head. The green tea in my hands is going cold. "I don't deserve to be reinstated, Ad. He should've flat out fired me. I put someone in the hospital. In the hospital, Addy."

"That wasn't the potion you gave her!"

I shake my head again. "It's got my signature on it."

What I gave Mrs Toebuck was yellow, I'm still sure of it. I've never seen that pink monstrosity in my life. But somehow my potion turned into that...thing. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I poisoned Mrs Toebuck.

I'm not taking the retraining course. I'm packing my bags. I'm leaving. My dream career is over. I'm a risk to clients and no amount of retraining can fix that.

There has to be a curse on me. It's the only explanation. But Addy's performed all the diagnostic spells and she can't find any curse.

Onyx hops off the windowsill. His black fur is wet with light. Running away won't solve your problems.

"What do you want me to do, keep poisoning clients?"

He looks at me sideways. I want you to remember.

As usual I don't know what he's talking about. He's been with me since I was a toddler but I don't know anything about him before that. One day he was just there, preening himself in my nursery. Then he simply stayed.

"What am I supposed to remember?"

The answer won't be found in this time. Remember, there is more than one you.

He moves to the fireside and won't say any more.

That cursed cat is a pain. He knows something. He remembers something, from when I was a child maybe. I don't know what he means by there being more than one me, but whatever it is he knows he ought to share it.

I'm restless tonight. Sleep doesn't come easy. I keep seeing images of Mrs Toebuck, swollen and in pain. I'm aware of Onyx's warm body next to mine. His head is nestled in the crook of my shoulder. Every now and then he gives me a gentle lick. As I start to drift off I hear him say something. The words sit warmly against my skin.

I won't lose you again. Not this time.

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