Part 1.7

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I've come to accept that I'm a witch. It's actually a good thing when you think about it. Now that I know what's wrong I can fix it.

If Ruby's got it right (and I'm sure she has because she's done the research) there's nothing inherently evil about being a witch. I know, I know - "I'm a monster". Those were my own words. But I was upset. I can't be logical when I'm that upset.

I still think leaving Witch Doctors Inc is the right thing to do though. I need some time away to hone my abilities. I still haven't forged a permanent connection, and until that happens I'm not fully stable.

I wish Addy would understand. She refuses to stay away. She turns up at my door in the afternoon with a plate of orange cakes and a big smile stretching her face.

"Hi Lily," she beams. "I've brought orange cakes...they're you-know-who's favourite. Where is he anyway? Onyx! I've got orange cake!"

She pushes past me.

I don't know what the point of having your own room is if everyone just barges in anyway.

Onyx comes trotting out of nowhere. Oh! Orange cakes!

You're kidding me.

"Where were you?" I demand. "I was looking for you all morning."

He ignores me and leaps into Addy's arms. Addy rubs his forehead and holds out a piece of orange cake.

Oh, these are the good kind too, from Mrs Francis's bakery. Adamantine, you are the highest calibre of human.

"Listen, you idiot cat," I growl. "Something happened this morning. I lifted something with my mind. And...I needed to ask you something. Where do you run off to all the time? You're a cat. It's not like you have a job."

Neither do you, he retorts.

I throw an orange cake at him.

Addy settles into the sofa. "So Lil, how's the...connection...thing going? Are you making progress? I was thinking we could go to the potions room tomorrow and try a spell."

"I don't think so, Addy. I still haven't forged a permanent connection. Until then it's way too dangerous."

Addy's face falls. "Oh." Then she brightens. "You know what will help? Meditation. Stress is at the root of so many things, and you've been through quite an ordeal with the Mrs Toebuck episode. We should put you on a rest and relaxation regime - my cousin went on one once, it worked wonders. You'll be belting out spells in no time!"

"Addy," I say through clenched teeth. "I can't afford to relax. I need to practice."

The energy around me is starting to get a little hot. I reach for Amarat's bracelet. I see her face, scrunched up in concentration as she examines a spear-shaped leaf. A breath of my own energy, cool and comforting, mists through the air.

I let go of the bracelet.

Addy's still going on. "How will you know if it's worked or not until you try? Just relax for a few days, then try a spell. It'll work, I promise."

Arrogant girl. She must learn her lesson.

I jerk away from the bracelet. My heart is pounding against my ribcage.

Okay Lily, no need to panic. You've established a fact now - the voice was real.

After that I can't get rid of Addy fast enough. The accursed cat, however, has different plans. Addy's brought a sparkly ball of gold string with her, and he's having the time of his life with it. I don't have time for this. I shouldn't have to explain the seriousness of the situation to Onyx. Addy was Addy, but Onyx ought to know better.

They're laughing together like a pair of clowns when I cut in. "You know what, Ad? I think I will try that relaxation technique. If I start now I might be ready to try a spell tomorrow morning."

Addy perks up. "Really? Wonderful! I'll leave you to it then. See you in the potions room tomorrow!"

I lock the door after her and turn on the cat. "Are you done? Would you like another ball of string? Or would you like to hear about the evil voice coming from the bracelet?"

Onyx freezes. What voice?

I wave him away. "Oh, it's not important. You finish your orange cake. Your satisfaction is number one - the safety of others can wait."

Onyx leaps onto my bed. His eyes are large and stony. Lily, what did you hear?

I sigh. "There's a voice I've been hearing when I'm in Amarat's memory or touching the bracelet. It isn't Amarat or anyone I've heard before."

What kind of voice? What does it tell you?

"It's angry. It told me to...burn them all."

Onyx is silent, but he doesn't shift his gaze from me. He watches me with an intense scrutiny. Lily...I want you to promise me something. Promise me you will ignore this voice, no matter what it says or how strong it becomes. This is very important.

"That's what I'm doing," I say, slightly annoyed. "I want to know who it is. Why is it able to infiltrate my mind? I only opened up to Amarat."

Onyx blinks. I don't know. He jumps off my bed abruptly, leaving orange cake crumbs to bounce in his wake.

I don't want to practice any more today. I'm still disturbed by that voice. I didn't sign up to have the whole world in my mind - I only wanted to protect others from my powers. I definitely don't want this, whatever it is, speaking to me. I don't know where it comes from, but I do know one thing - it does not wish me, or anyone I know, well.

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