A Different Kind

Chapter 31

" Doctor Cullen... Carlisle! ,"   Alexandra called out hesitantly at the silent figure of the man she once loved.... Still loved.

He didn't move from his place on the front porch ,nor look at her in acknowledgement . It made her feel....strange . She just couldn't describe the feeling taking place inside of her .

"Carlisle ?", she asked , coming to a halt behind him .

He still didn't look at her or even moved . She , however ,moved closer until she stood pressed up against his back .

She closed her eyes , letting herself do what she wouldn't have done the day before . She snaked her arms around his middle , hugging him from behind.

For a moment , just a brief moment , he tensed ,then relaxed and she heard him release a breath before she felt his hands touch hers , covering them .

" I'm sorry ", she said softly, grudgingly ," I just.... I just felt so lost when you never answered the phone when I called . Or even answered any texts . Then I learned that I was pregnant and I wanted to call you and tell you ,but I thought that you wouldn't answer . And I was too tired to even climb the stairs to get to my phone . Then​ one day I did call , but you didn't answer and I didn't try it again . I needed you and you weren't there . I guess I just .... just lost my faith in you . I don't mean to hurt you . It's just , I ... I felt so alone and I ... don't want to trust you and find myself broken again when you do something like that again ".

He turned around in her arms , wrapping her in his own arms , holding her so close .

" I know and I really am sorry too . I wish I'd done it differently and maybe this whole situation could've been avoided ,but I can't go back in time and change it . But I can try to show you for the rest of eternity how much you mean to me . I really love you , Alexandra . Even if you don't believe it ".

She didn't look at him . She didn't want to . Her head were pressed against his chest and she just didn't want to move .

He ducked his head , pressing his cheek  against the crown of her head and relaxed for the first time in weeks .

They didn't speak to each other for a long while . They only stood there holding​ each other . Reveling in the presence of one another after being starved from each other's company for so long .

Then she pulled away ,but not completely because he grasped her hands before she could even think of it .

" Will you stay tonight ?", he asked  hopefully.

She looked up into his eyes feeling a stubborn reluctance settle in her gut .

She still couldn't trust him enough to give him that , yet her child was still at Bella's and even if she left she'd have to come back for him .

" I don't want to ," she admitted , crushing the hope that was in his heart  ," I don't have enough trust yet in you to do that . I just want my son and leave ."

He let go of her hands and sighed . " I understand . I'm sorry I asked ."

His tone was full of bitterness and she felt guilty for being the cause of it right now .

" I'm sorry ," she said ," I can't help how I feel ".

Her tone was apologetic ,but it didn't make him feel any better .

" I'll ask Jacob to go get  Grayson . Then I'll drive you home . "

She gave him a quick nod , but said nothing to him .

He walked away and she stayed on the front porch looking out at the edge of the forest where she could see the eyes of the rest of Jacob's pack peeking​ at her .