Dysphoria [q.k + trans!male!reader!]

067

"So when is your surgery?" Kun asked from the end of my bed, his head propped up by his hands as he swung his legs back and forth.

"Umm, week and a half from now." I answer, not surprised by the shocked look on Kun's face.

"That soon?!"

"Yeah it's been booked for a while... I just didn't know how to tell anyone so I guess I held it off for quite some time." I chuckled, face flushed in embarrassment. "Plus most of them just found out."

"Who was the first?" Kun asked, a small smile on his face as he was happy I was getting the surgery that'll help me feel more comfortable.

"Lucas was the first to know, I told him after the weekly idol episode we did like what- 6 months ago?" I chuckled softly, turning over so I was facing Kun, getting in a similar position to him. "I only told him cause Mark said my baby photo looked like a girl... and he was right. I was a girl."

"He wasn't right though, you may have been in the body of a girl, and you may have been referred to as a girl for a while... but you have always been a boy, a very amazing and beautiful boy."

I don't know how to feel anymore, Kun makes me feel so warm and happy inside. I know I definitely for sure 100% have a crush on him, but the thing is I'm nervous for a relationship. I'm scared that if it ends badly we won't be friends anymore, the possibility of us not speaking again like before hurts me.

I would love to be Kun's boyfriend, I would love to grow old with him and wake up to his morning kisses. I would love to get married one day and maybe even adopt some little babies... actually we could even have biological babies, my mom saved up for one of those egg freezing things before I started hormones. So somewhere in the world is my eggs, frozen and capable of creating a whole child.

"What are you thinking about baby?" Kun smiled, brushing his thumb across my cheek. My face heated up, turning red.

"I'm thinking about us." I admitted, leaning my face closer into his hand. "I want to be together forever okay. I know we aren't even official yet, but I also know you wanted to do something special, meaning you plan for us to become official. So when we become official, you can never leave me, okay?"

"Of course. I'll stay by your side till the day I die. I'll never leave you and it'll get to the point you'll get annoyed of me and wish you never even said that." Kun chuckled, pulling me into a hug and planting a long kiss on my cheek.

"You better live up to your words then Mr. Qian, I expect to be annoyed out of my mind because of you."

✖️✖️✖️

I was gonna make them kiss... then remembered they haven't had their first kiss yet and that I gotta wait for the perfect time. And then I remembered the saying "if you have to make them kiss to know they are in love you are doing it wrong" so besties I think I might be doing it right😌